Tadaima
by faerydoll k
Summary: Five years of hell,only leading into this moment.A single grain of sand that was meant to fall on the hourglass of fate.After so many mistake,after so many lies,so many loss.Their love was still there.SasuSaku KakaSaku ItaSaku
1. my memory

What if everything you trained for, everything you spent your life achieving only lead you to one dismissive moment, of bringing you back to were you started. Of making you stand into another crossroad.

Was it all worth it? Could you say 'I've won'? When you had leave your new home and now you couldn't go back.

To a home you could never return to—

**"Tadaima" **

by: ethereal-moonrain

**Prologue: **_My Memory_

_I can still remember every part of it_

_Even the insignificant things_

_If I close my eyes I could still see them_

_You're far away_

_It is not even in my dream That I thought we could meet again like this _

_Therefore, I have to be frank with you: _

_I am still in love with you_

----------------------------------------------

Anguish. Loathe--- _The strong would live, and the weak will die._ Some time in my life I heard this phrase repeatedly. I wanted to be strong, but I hate the strong. For _he _was strong and _I_ –

_**Foolish brother . . .If you wish to kill me . . .Hate me, despise me, and survive in an unsightly way . . .Run and run and cling onto life**_

If there was a day that all the weak had died, then all that was left are the crooked— they are the true weak. Without the weak, there can never be the strong. That would be a great laugh, they'll forever suffer silently, unknown. What a great idea.

But then again, that means _I_ would live too. _I do not want to._

**Run Sasuke---**

He stood unmoving. The sky was filled with gray clouds, a distant lightning. The storm is approaching quickly.

"Hey! Mister!"

In a sense the voice was familiar and yet not. He didn't turn. Maybe he was annoyed. But then he was always annoyed by everything. There was another tug and so he turns and was startled.

A little girl, big rounded emerald eyes, pink hair, a silly red ribbon, and then the annoying smile, yet the warmest.

"What is it?" still he manage to make his voice cold and steady while he was having a battle in his mind. _Could it be? No—it couldn't be._

"Who are you mister?" he knew that those round intriguing eyes were scanning him head to toe.

Who am I?

_I am—death perhaps?_

_Who am I?_

"No one." He looked at funny face the girl was making; was she utterly imitating a blowfish?

"Whaaaat??? Are you loossttt??? Where's your home??? For sure you have one! I think no one could live without a home!"

Maybe I am lost.

_And my home is forever gone. I had lost it once, and I lose it again._

Now she was making things worst. She was an ultimate annoyance. How could a little girl torture him? How could just a mere girl confuse him so much?

I never lived---

_. . . Have I never lived until now? . . ._

_Am I living now?_

_They say that even death can die._

"What is your N-A-M-E!?" she even spell it for him. God, she was infuriating.

Sasuke

_Is that really my name?_

_Uchiha Sasuke_

_I would avenge the death of my family!_

_I would be strong!_

_Is that really me?_

_Could anyone possibly know the truth?_

"I am—Sasuke. Uchiha Sasuke."

_**Hate me---** _

_I was once the weak, and he was the strong._

_**Despise me-- **_

_Then I become the strong. The weak become the strong._

_**Survive-- in an unsightly way **_

_And yet I am still weak._

_**Run! Run! Run! **_

_For the strong are the weak._

_Could it be? The weak –are the strong?_

_Where is my heart?_

She grabbed his hand. It was a simple and gentle touch. But something surges through--- And it was killing him. It seem like he had open a box of memories by touching this girl's hand.

He gasps in fear. But of what?

_She was scared._

_She searches for him._

_She kept on dreaming—believing it was free._

She pleas, but the plea didn't come.

_He didn't come._

_She was—stained. And it couldn't be wash off. Not even those two words. No 'I'm sorry' could ever take what happens to her. _

And yet he wasn't sure. This emotion just passes into him. Maybe, just maybe this girl was---no it couldn't be. _Not that—_

_Please tell me it's not that._

"It's raining. Come with me!" But he didn't move. And the girl speaks again.

"I hate the rain! Do you hate it too? 'ka-san hate it. She says it was raining when _he_ left and that _he_ was only searching for the truth—for a home, when right then and there _he _already had, 'ka-san said _he _was stupid but she love him. And she would always talk to her self saying, "Why couldn't you see that the truth is just inside you? That this is your home now' every time it would rain. I really don't know what she means and who is 'he' but I understand her somehow."

What is the truth?

_Could there be no truth at all?_

_Could it be all along, my home is here?_

The girl smiled again and pulled him. And he followed obediently. "I hate the rain too" he whispered.

_It was raining when I died._

_I died when I left my home._

_When I left her alone._

_Then please rain it again to let me live again._

It didn't take a minute to reach the house of this _girl_. Why is this house built in the outskirts of Konoha? Then his world stopped. He saw _her_. Holding an umbrella as she had only came out of the door as if going to fetch her daughter. _NO! Where did that thought came? Of course it couldn't be!_

"'ka-san!" Now this girl is proven irritating. The 'mother' looked at them aghast. Then calmed herself for a while breathing from one to three.

"Aiko-chan! Come inside now!"

"'ka-san I had a friend. Could he stay too?"

"Maybe you should go inside first, I would just want to --talk to your friend first." She answered back, holding the rage on her heart, or was it hope?

"What? Oh okay." Little Aiko run inside and waved her hands before really coming in.

"Perhaps you would like to talk inside?" she was calm. She was, off course she was! But he didn't move, didn't speak. And she knew well he would have this conversation outside like this. Gods he didn't care even if it was raining.

"It's been a long time huh? Sakura."

She nodded grasping the umbrella tighter. "So—You've moved on. I guess I just kept running on circles, I haven't yet." He continued.

She looked at him as if asking 'was there something for you to move on'? No—she was the only one who plays the stupid part of loving him.

"I've—searched for you. But I ended up being—like this. You don't know what I've gone through. I was—scared. I wanted to find you." She laughed trying to wash all the pain by doing that but she was failing.

"I've come back now."

_Why do you have to come back now that I have just finished saying goodbye?_

"So what truth did the ALMIGHTY Uchiha Sasuke gain after his ever long great journey?" the sarcasm on her voice didn't miss his ears.

She was failing. She was crying now.

"I love you"

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**Author's Notes: **Did I just write that? Oh well.I have only seen a few episode of this anime "Naruto" but I kind of like it anyway. So please bear with me if I have some wrong information. I really like NARUTO (the ANIME not the character!) that's why I made this fanfiction.

I love Uchiha Sasuke and Haruno Sakura as a pairing. Hehe that explain why I made it like this. I have really no idea of how Sasuke fight Itachi, and when it happens or if it really happen. Because like I said I haven't really watch the series fully. This is my very first NARUTO fic so please! Give me your reviews! I think I couldn't update without them! Please!

**IMPORTANT!!!!: on this fanfic… the original anime happened…BUT!!! On this fic Sasuke comes back after three (3)years from Orochimaru. **

**Then… leave again to search for Itachi. It took him 5 years to find him and now he has returned to Konoha after killing Itachi. **

**So Sasuke, Sakura, Naruto and the others are 19 years old on this fic.**

**Vocabulary: **

**Tadaima-** means "I'm home" or "I'm back"


	2. Stranded Epitaph

The very first time _she_ stares at me, I already knew that whatever happen, her eyes wouldn't waver, wouldn't lose sight of _him._

There is no need for me to meet the person she sees beyond me. It doesn't take a genius to know that every time she looks at me, she was looking at someone else.

She was—looking at _him**.**_

_Searching —_

And at this time I lose to him, in a battle I didn't expect to have. A battle I'll continue pursuing—a battle I'll continue losing . . .

**_"Tadaima"_**

by: ethereal-moonrain

**Chapter 1:**_ Stranded Epitaph___

_The monster you're feeding,  
  
_

_Your lack of perception  
  
_

The things that you do

_To fulfill your addictions  
  
_

_The light at the end of your tunnel is closing  
  
_

_What is it that you're so afraid of exposing?  
  
_

_You'd give it all up for what's there for the taking  
  
_

_Whatever it takes to keep your hands from shaking  
  
_

_The same things you're thinking might make you feel better  
  
_

_The same things that probably got you here  
  
_

-------------------------------

They say that it is part of human nature to avoid failure, rejections . . . Nobody would actually desire to fail, or be rejected and so the word 'courage' came in.

****

**_"I love you"_******

_And no response came_

It is fear that makes us run away. For every failure, every denial bury us into solitude, and the secret is---

He turned around, refusing to see whatever emotions coming through her right now. Maybe sparing his self from the words she's about to say. Refusing the possibility that he failed, that he was rejected.

_--To get out before it buries you deeper._

Those were the words she had longed to hear from him. Those words she thought would only be told in her dreams. But is it human nature to also tell a lie and hurt them selves even more? And that is when the word 'pride' comes in.

"Thank you"

_It wasn't the truth nor could it be a lie._ It was something humans are known for, pride—

She let go of her umbrella seeking another instrument that would make her feel more safe and warm. She circled her arms into his retreating form facing his back.

Snuggling even closer she sighed letting the white mist surrounds them into the continuous parade of the rain.

"Thank you—I'll forever cherish that but---this time . . . this time we really have to go on separate new paths."

**Pride,**_ can stand a thousand trials . . . the strong would never fall. But heaving heart is full of pain_. Oh—Oh the aching.

"Sakura tell me what happen." But she pretended that she didn't hear him.

Sasuke could feel the wetness on his back and he was sure it didn't belong to the rain it was simply tears. She was crying again that is why she was knows she's back from the start again. _Crying, crying, crying_ that is all she could do. That is all she could do again, too helpless, always needing comfort, always crying, always needing him. That was **she** before, and was **she** right now.

Still in love with him

"I've tried to move on Sasuke—That is all we have to do, move on""

But she also failed. She says that she had tried and she never tells that she succeeded.

"But to where do we move on? From what path should we take? Sakura, this is probably the last road for me, this is a dead end." He looked up facing the fat drops of water descending towards him. That was the unsolvable question.

"Now please tell me the truth Sakura, trust me--"

But there were too many emotions flooding over her head that it made it harder to find the devastating truth. An emotional wall she refuses to break no matter how much pressure pressed upon it. That is how difficult it is to tell him the truth, for those few words could or would change two –no three lives forever.

And to trust him was too hard for her. For she had trusted him with her life, with her heart once. But the word 'Trust' and Uchiha Sasuke doesn't really fit each other. But deep inside she did held out hope that someday they might.

"I really need to know"

I need to know who

Sasuke turned around to face her. Holding the urge to cry in front of her, that person who made him this way, the one who led him in this road. The very person that makes him goes this far.

"I just—I just want to make you come back. No matter how scared I was I kept on searching and probably the only thing that kept me going is a dream of seeing you beside me but with futile attempts I only see moonlight beside me or—him"

He tried to listen to it all. It's not like he like to hear this, he just have to---

Face it all.

He was sucking all the blame for all the things she went through. All the things she'd done for him. All the things he tried to push away, the things he threw away.

"I wasn't thinking back then and always stumbles into trouble wherein I could almost get myself killed. I've seen a part of this world that I haven't seen before, that is when I wake up and realize that this was reality, a harsh gruesome world I'd never thought existed. And to survive this kind of world you have to live like it. And that is what I've done --- when I run out of money and starving to death I came into a decision that I thought would brought me out of this hell, but somehow—it buried me deeper."

He was a hypocrite if he says it doesn't hurt, if he says he doesn't care. He already knew what she means but refuses to believe.

"I sold myself"

_Whatever it takes to keep your hands from shaking_

_The same things you're thinking might make you feel better_

_The same things that probably got you here_

"I sold myself to this man who came to me one night, I knew he was dangerous but everyone here is anyway. I didn't tell him my real name, as if that could hide the shame of turning out like this. I told him I was 'Scarlet' some random name I saw in a poster pasted outside. But he didn't turn as bad as I think he is, he actually feed me and offer me shelter. I thought that this man probably took pity on me but what surprise me more is that the next day he asked me to come with him and I—accept. And so on the way I had Aiko-chan"

I thought I love him--

With those words, Sasuke couldn't help but wonder if what hurts more, the fact she sold herself or the fact she might actually loved somebody not him.

There are a lot of times when he had pictured her just sulking around her room, all those time he thought she had stayed back at the village so afraid to even try to become strong . . . because those images are much more easy to bear than this.

-------------------------------------

It is not even in her dreams did she think she would end up like this. What is wrong with her? First, she was stupidly searching for Sasuke then now joining an S-class criminal.

**"Tired already?" he turned around to see her leaning onto the tree.**

**"Sort of. But its okay I could still go on." He sighed walking towards her.**

**"Then we'll rest for now." He didn't wait for her reply and sat under the shelter of the tree. **

**"We really don't have to." She replied curtly but decided to sit beside him. She was actually exhausted since running and escaping wasn't really meant for her. **

**Her green eyes were cast on the ground. Why does every time, every second in her life Uchiha Sasuke would invade her mind? **

**"Want to share your thoughts to me?" he smirked at her then quickly added. "Thinking of your boyfriend again eh?"**

**"He's –not my--!" she started to protest but he put one finger on her lips, slowly coming near her and she didn't move. **

**"Then could I be?" he said almost immediately not giving her a chance to talk back as he closed the distance between them.**

**Sakura gasped, the action took her by surprise. She didn't really expect him to just kiss her like that, but then she had sold her self to him right? And yet he didn't touch her or forced her into something she doesn't want. Only this time—he kiss her.**

**He pulled away from her, opening his eyes revealing his black orbs. She was looking so delicate and vulnerable like that. He knows it doesn't mean anything to Sakura at all. Gods, she didn't even tell her real name! Although he already know who she really was but decide to play along with her little game of hiding name, it was unfair actually, he told her his real name.**

**"You could just—you could just pretend that I'm _him_ okay?" and that is what she does. He kissed her again and she did too.**

But all those time she wasn't looking at him, she wasn't kissing him right now, she wasn't even there, because she was at somewhere else besides this place . . . somewhere beyond this.

Passing every trees---

Every plains---

Every mountains---

Every thousand stars---

Beyond the brilliant moon . . .

--to wherever Uchiha Sasuke is right now. --

She could never be here at all. For her heart is too full already, and there is no space left for him to stay.

------------------------------

"The time he knew I was pregnant he brought me in here and said that it would no longer be safe for me to go with him. And I couldn't stop him because I was scared to lose my child. Few days later Kakashi-sensei found me and so are the others. They all just thought I gave up searching for you but what they didn't know is that I'm with an S-class criminal. They all pity me and all have been so kind, my parents asked me to stay with them but I refuse."

She paused for a while and look up to him.

****

****

_"At first I thought that I could meet you when I stayed with him. Do you not know why? I thought you could find me instead. Because that man was--- Itachi, Uchiha Itachi."_

-------------------------------

****

And the dream was over now.

He didn't really want it this way.

He never wanted to enter this delusion anyway, he didn't really want to meet her, he really didn't want to fall in love with her, he just wants . . .someone to see him—and now he had to pay,

The dream was over and he knew well that in this world,

Dreaming isn't free.

****

**Sharingan versus Sharingan. This is the moment Uchiha Sasuke had been waiting for all his life. This is the only thing he had thought ever since he had opened that door that lead him to see his own brother killed those people he loved, those people he thought **_he_** loved.**

"Sasuke—I'm sorry."

When Sasuke looks at his eyes, he couldn't miss the different way his eyes shone. As if he had glimpse inside him and what he saw actually surprise him. Did he just saw pain? Sadness? And loss? Is his mind playing with him? Could a man like this still capable of such things?

And that is when a dead person, was killed all over again.

_And still---_

_Continued the battle, not through his beaten body, but through her memories of him. _

**How could Itachi make Sasuke suffer this much even now that he was dead? How could somebody continue struggling after death? How could Itachi remains in her heart? How could he just simply said 'I'm sorry' **

"I just want to save you, I killed them before they made a monster—I'm sorry this is—the only way—to stop them from making you just like me."

**-----------------------------------------**

Sasuke remembered it so vividly--- he could even still feel Itachi's last breath. And in front of him was the person he thought he could always return to. He admits that he had always thought that she would always be there. He felt only a little urge to take care of her before thinking he would never lose her.

But right now he did, he lost her, a stranded epitaph of his brother Itachi that would continue to squeeze the life out of him. Does all of this worth it now? Does killing Itachi useless? When he was still living on _her_ heart?

"That is—the truth Sasuke. Now as I have told you . . . as what you've told me before. We go on new different paths now . . ." Sakura swiftly turned her back to him even before he could stop her.

"You go on to that path and I'll go right here . . . and don't—ever look back. We had—always manage to cross this path everyday before and you didn't have any problem doing so—I've always tried to make you see me, to make you hear me and so right now you wouldn't have a problem leaving for another path ne?"

She closed her eyes trying to make the rain wash all the tears that never seem to stop from falling.

"But I always believed that--- when two hearts are meant to be together---"

"Sakura . . ." he reached for her hand and tried to stop her.

****

**__**

**_"Someway or another, fate would surely bring them back together."_**

And that is when she leaved him. He would have stopped her from doing so but he knows nothing could stop her from going away from him—to leave him all alone without anyone to blame but himself.

__

_Now where would you go?_

**_Now you've got no home?_******

-----------------------------------------

**Author's notes:** I hope that you like this chapter and I hope you get the "I love you—thank you" part. I got the idea on the time Sasuke was going to leave Konoha to go to Otto village and that is what exactly he said to Sakura. Correct me if I'm wrong okay? I think I've only read it on some site that gives summaries on the manga of NARUTO.

I've also got the next chapter written but I think I'll have to add something more to it—the story is almost done in my head, but unfortunately I'm too busy and I'm hardly online nowadays but no worries I'll update as fast as I can.

**Neptune47 ** thanks for reviewing! I hope you like this chapter! I'll try fixing my errors but I really have no time but I'll try. Hope you don't mind Wandering shinobi 

**wandering shinobi**

Haha I didn't notice that one, well maybe it just go by my instinct—Soujiro is one of my favorite characters in RK so maybe that explain it…all of it just comes in naturally, anyway I hope you like this chapter RnR!!!

**Kinomoto Touya**

Bwahaha! I'm sorry if you're feeling obligated to read my fics but thanks anyway!

**Memento-mori09**

Ahehe---I'll try fixing that but you see I only have little time nowadays—so I apologize for not editing my story, I hope you'll understand.

**Maya Amano**

It's nice to hear that from you. I don't really know much about NARUTO and I'm quite busy so I can't look in some sites for information---gosh… I haven't even read any NARUTO fics so far---that's how busy I am! So thank you for appreciating my work even I know little about this anime!

**Kerrie-chan**

I'm sorry for that, just bear with me…I'm really busy and all….but thanks anyway for reviewing….

**Ori**

Hmm—hope you continue reading!

**Cep**

Thanks for pointing that out, and for reading this fic even you don't really know NARUTO hehe. You're such a good friend!

**SunnySideUp**

Well I'll try to finish this fic first before I put another one, (although I already have an idea) so that I wouldn't be confuse. I hope you'll read them too if that day comes!

I'm totally grateful to all of you. I mean I only expect two or something reviews --- and you guys made it more than that, I'm so happy! Wai! So please keep on reading and don't forget to review!


	3. Rippled echoes, a drown petal

How many times did he pass this crossroad with her?

How many times did he walk pass through this road without even looking back?

How many times did he turn his back and ignore her?

How many times did she say **_'I love you'_**_?_

And how many times did he not listen?

--How many times did this place taste her bitter tears mixing with the rain?

How many times? How many lies? How many tears? How many losses?

---Would there still be a next time for them to waste?

__

_Would there be?_

**_"Tadaima"_**

by: ethereal-moonrain

****

**Chapter 2: **_Rippled echoes, a drowned petal_

__****

_Another day inside my world  
  
_

_I'm married to you and this road  
  
_

_This road that do not let me sleep  
  
_

_So there's no way to escape these demons I am forced to keep  
  
_

_Then I find you here  
  
_

Thru your eyes everything's clear

_And I'm home inside your arms  
  
_

_But I'm alone for now._

----------------------------------------

Closing the door, she slid her back down until she had finally reached the floor to sit, hugging her knees with both her arms. A position she grew accustom into.

"Oka-san—Is my new friend the one you've been waiting to return?" And she didn't answer. Is Sasuke still the one she's waiting for now?

The hands of the wall clock had pointed to seven. She bluntly wipes her tears away and stood to open the door again to face the already calming weather. "I have a mission tonight I might not be back until tomorrow so don't stay up and wait for me." With that said she leave.

"Oka-san . . ." little Aiko look down to her tea she was currently drinking, and a pair of green eyes looks back . . .

-----------------------------------

Somehow the clouds have managed to move on, leaving the streets emptier now without the rain.

Sasuke stopped walking for a while, realizing he was on this very same path again, the one he used to walk on with her. And the same split road he uses to cross with her every time the day ends for team seven, the road that separates them, a path leading to his own house and the other to hers.

This is--- the road that had received a thousand of greetings-- and million goodbyes . . .

--Were both significant and insignificant things happened.

He looked at the direction leading to Sakura's old home and at the corner of his eyes he saw a petal of cherry blossom fall with the cold spring air. His eyes widened when he saw her—standing there, slowly laying her right fist onto her chest the left one dangling on her side. She was looking like the way she looks before he left her.

She opened her mouth to speak but no words came . . .

Like those times before---

-----------------------------

**(Flashback)**

Sasuke walked silently with Sakura three paces behind. Reaching the very familiar crossroad she stopped. And both knew what is coming next, something that repeatedly happen everyday.

She nervously put her right fist onto her chest looking at him.

"Sasuke-kun . . .I-- love you." And as usual he replied with only a sigh, continuing walking away without even turning back not even bothering to listen. And that is when tears started to roll down her cheeks falling down to reach the ground.

**(End of Flashback)**

--------------------------------

_Like those times she speaks and he didn't listen . . ._

The nocturnal air blew erasing the illusion in front of him. He looked down into the puddle of water were the petal fell. For a moment he thought he saw a pair of crying emerald eyes looking back at him.

_And now he couldn't and maybe wouldn't hear it from her anymore. Wouldn't see her trailing behind—wouldn't stop to say how much she love him-- _

Then one petal fall from the tree, rippling the reflection in the water, memories fading—like a voice of a distant star.

-----------------------------------

There was a sudden blow, sending her body on the nearby river. Water splashes into the nearby leaves and slowly falling down, as if trying to tell somebody about the incident.

She was losing it. It was getting harder for her to breathe every second. The blood was now mixing with the water, and she was going down—below under.

And all the things she sees—all the things she hears – were moving far . . . far away, each seconds making her distant from the world she knew.

All the things—all the things she knew were now walking away from her. Moving farther apart away---

_Away . . . _

--------------------------------

It was another morning and yet the sun has decided to stay back for another batch of clouds to cry for the whole day. Sasuke had realized he had stayed the whole night outside.

**He was the one who told them to move on--**

Nobody actually knew Uchiha Sasuke was back except for Sakura and her daughter. And that is why—nobody even bothers to tell him _she_ was now dying.

_Clinging onto life, that had never been good to her._

**__**

**_--But the truth is—he was the one who didn't move on--_**__

But for another second he was discovered still on the same path. "Sasuke?"

He figured to just stay quiet while his former teammate look over him as if he had gone from the death to only come back just to surprise him.

"Y-you're here." His voice was low and yet audible for Sasuke to hear. "Oh my god! Sakura-chan --"

"I've already met her yesterday, Naruto."

**__**

**_--he was the one who stayed back--_**

"But Sasuke, Sakura-chan is at the hospital right now." The dark eyed boy couldn't hide his surprise and turned to his companion.

"But she was—when did she--?"

"She was found by an ANBU lying on the river bend last night around eleven" Sasuke knew that Naruto was still saying something but he couldn't hear them all now, his mind was struggling to understand but was failing.

Sasuke had started to run by his instinct not even sure if he still remember the way to the hospital. But somehow he still did, judging to where he was standing right now.

**_--on that same road. _**

----------------------------------

He went on the bedside, witnessing the rise and fall of her chest, the rhythmic sounds of machine trying to help her, the strange smell of the hospital . . .

The image of her facial features was cut by translucent wires; A tube grew like a long weed stem from the side of her parted mouth and reached endlessly into her throat; Another lay evenly across her cheeks, below the slight curl of her nose. Somewhere near the bed, a metal box of a machine was loudly sighing to the hardly visible rhythm of her chest.

It was actually more than he could bare, though he had seen more, more drastic, in fact this wasn't a bit of horrible sight but to see her lying down in there almost half-dead with only the stirring machines helping her was more than the word 'horrible' itself.

Even how much he denies it she does appears like she's facing upward at her open grave, only waiting for the dirt that would come and finish her off, making her officially dead.

He does know that she was still something that existed, something that was still alive. But she couldn't open her eyes, couldn't speak, she could no longer even breathe on her own.

This couldn't be happening at all. He had just met her after so many years and now it would only be like this? It can't be. She was too brilliant, her smile was too sweet, and he would forever deny that she would be gone, taken—away from him. No—not anymore, not this time, not like this, he was confident that he wouldn't lose her.

__

_She meant too much to him._

Sasuke moved a little bit closer to her, sitting down on the chair beside the bed. He took her hands into his giving it a soft squeeze. But still she didn't move.

She looks more fragile now, he once thought of this too back then, she cries so easily on the simplest things, and now it was much worst. She was actually the most delicate person he met. And right now at her state it seems that her hands would even detach from her body once pulled. It was like yesterday he was squeezing this same hand to suppress the pain from Orochimaru's curse, the same hand that would reach out for him every time he would fall, the hands that rested on his heart when he was being taken over by the curse fighting with the sound-nin.

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_The same hand he used to push away._

He wanted to gaze at her eyes right now. Those eyes, so impossibly bright and green. Those eyes that had shown him so many emotions he doesn't have. But she couldn't open them right now. And when he calls her name those long lashes wouldn't flutter.

"They said she'll be alright for now, but they need to confirm it when she woke up." Sasuke was startled he was too caught up with his emotion that he didn't notice a presence nearby.

"Frankly speaking, I didn't expect that you would defeat Itachi at the age of 19, let alone return in one piece and alive."

"And it seems that you're not glad that I did, Kakashi-_sensei_" the atmosphere in the room changes, it was very uncomfortable and unnerving. Kakashi leans on the wall just beside the door.

"I think it is better that you would leave before she even wakes up Sasuke."

"And why is that?" there was something in Sasuke's voice that makes Kakashi's ears twitched.

"We could have assassinate you for coming with Orochimaru, but things do have their own way."

"Then how about Sakura? You know she's with Itachi right? You can't hide it from me." Sasuke was taunting him; it clearly shows into the tone of his voice.

"What are you up to Sasuke?" Kakashi didn't really answer Sasuke's question, he was aware of the dangerous glare from Sasuke and he didn't like that one bit.

_"You like her, do you?"_ Sasuke speaks out, making Kakashi's lazy eyes widened than normal.

Luckily, the doctor came in temporarily breaking the dark atmosphere in the room. He walked closer to the bed, to the opposite side of Sasuke.

"Aside from the deep wound she received near her chest was little scratches probably because of struggle." Both other occupants of the room stayed quite for the time being. Maybe both were fleeting somewhere.

The doctor asked some question if there's someone after her, they went to the Hokage's office and found out she doesn't have any mission assigned that time. The two of them shook their heads. Who would gain something by killing her? They weren't really sure about the motive of this person was it to cut her until she had lost too much blood to struggle? And then slit her throat viciously to draw the air from her a little faster? Then left her on the river for the world to find? Who could have done this?

After some minutes of silence the doctor spoke again. "We're very sorry, but it is very important that you tell us anything you know. Because whoever did this-- raped her too."

Both Sasuke and Kakashi gasp, they know she was in so much pain, but to go as far as this was—unbearable.

Sasuke holds her hand tightly bringing his lips down to kiss it. She . . .

**_...She must have cried out when this happened to her. Must have had her eyes open, staring openly at her attacker._**

**__****__**

"And aside from the stab on her chest, there is one more lethal injury on her head. It would be hard for her when she wakes up, I do not mean just physically but her mentality too, and if not—she might actually don't remember anything. She was even lucky she survive. Maybe it would be better if she would just forget, rather than let her suffer" the doctor shook his head and muttered a low apology then leave.

Sasuke glance at her again, Sakura do look as if she was frozen. Trapped in her very own world, a place no one knows, a place even maps has yet to know.

**_Maybe--_** Sasuke thought, **_he was losing her_**,

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_no—_

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**_Maybe he had lost her._**

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**Author's notes: **whew! Sorry for not updating faster. I already finished this chapter a week before but I only had a limited time in using internet, actually limited time for myself cause I've been busy these days, you know homeworks tralala--- also Taekwondo training is killing me, right now both my feet are full of blisters. And need to study well because I can't afford to fail right now. So I apologize for not being able to update faster.

Hehe some of the ideas on this chapters are from my CardCaptorSakura fics. Haha! Its just that they have the same name, which means same symbol 'cherry blossoms' tee-hee, I think I already deleted that fic from here hmm—not sure.

But oh well! Please leave a review! Pwease! So that I would be motivated! I treasure your reviews so please do! If you want to email me for some sort of reason here is my ad: Liyingfa010yahoo.com ff.net is not showing email ads of authors when you are not logged in I think its for a protection against spammers out there.

Review please!

And good news I already finished the draft of the ending although I might add more. Depends on you people if you want to suggest something feel free to tell it! I'm quite new to NARUTO anyway and have no time to surf the net to gain info.

Also a favor! To some who are lucky enough to have info of NARUTO anime please tell me some spoilers bwahaha mainly SasuSaku and some weird pairings! Pls! ABS-CBN (the channel airing NARUTO in my place) replace it with Tokyo Underground so poor us, can't watch no longer. And if you are a Filipino can you tell me where to buy manga? I can't seem to find a good store here. Pwease!

**Afrokane**

Also a WOW to you! Thank you for reviewing! I appreciate it! Mwah! I hope you would like this chapter too!

**OOoshortayoOo**

Thanks! Hope you find this chapter nice too.

**SunnySideup**

Hehe crazy twist eh? I'm crazy that's why. Haha. Pls continue reading and reviewing! I have more crazy twist coming.

**White shinobi**

Eh? Thanks! But I kinda steal your sleep, I'm bad eh? Haha! RnR!!!

**And to some people who review before who didn't review again all I can say is WHERE ARE YOU??? DO YOU HATE MY STORY NOW? ARE YOU BORED WITH IT? TELL ME PLEASE! SO I'LL KNOW IF I SHOULD STILL CONTINUE THIS! mwah!**

**Go! Go! Press that cute lil button down there!**


	4. Carousel

_The sunset creeps behind the street lamps. A forgotten photograph rolling down, now tattered, trampled till the wind is gone. And their memory is the same, when the piece of paper was crumpled it could never be put back to what it was before._

**"Why all of a sudden? You know these people needs you badly." –then a crumpled paper no—photograph made its way towards Tsunade and effortlessly catch it with two fingers. **

_**"Kakashi . . . that's not what I need to hear right now." One lazy eye added by another, red round with black blades, a sharingan eye. **_

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**_"Then why bother asking me then?"_**

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**_"He's you're student after all"_**

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**_"Correction lady Hokage, He's Jiraya's--"_**

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**_"Ah—I'm getting old, talking to that pervert might lead me to my deathbed."_**

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**_"You're exaggerating, He is--- capable of taking you're place but. . ."_**

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**_"Kakashi--" _**

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**_--Then no more . . . no talking, no contemplations, or maybe not. ---_**

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**_Tsunade lifted her fingers in between was the slightly tattered photo, both his eyes, now sharpened. When was the last time he'd seen this? _**

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**_Four people, he himself was there with only one happy eye revealed, on his right a boy, who has his own miniature battle on mind trying to choose whether to smile or just hide, then on his left annoyingly fox smile, and then—and then . . . a beautiful smile, gentle balance for the yin and yang, that was her very own teammate. Useless? No—without her the light and dark would eat each other._**

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**_But despite the alluring, refreshing portrait was a thick line of red blood slightly slanted on the scarlet dress of the little girl. Smiling beautifully— as if saying_**

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**_Notice me—_**

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**_Notice me---_**

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_Because sometimes when you lose something, you could never have it back, its damage beyond repair . . ._

_**"Tadaima" **_

by: ethereal-moonrain

**Chapter 3:** _Carousel_

She can't hide no matter how hard she tries

_Her secret disguised behind the lies  
  
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_And at night she cries away her pride  
  
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_With eyes shut tight staring at her inside  
  
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_All her friends know why she can't sleep at night  
  
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_All her family asking' if she's alright  
  
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_All she wants to do is get rid of this hell  
  
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_Well all she's got to do is stop kidding' herself  
  
She can only fool herself for so long_

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Walking pass through unknown hallways, only stopping in front of the water tank made of glass, inside was a man, barely breathing his eyes close and lots of wire tubes connected to his skin probably the one that keeps him alive for now.

The person standing sighed, a woman's sigh and lazily trace the outline of the man's body with her fingers through the glass wall. She's not suppose to be here, she's not suppose to be doing this, even if it is her primary job, she shouldn't be doing this.

She leans a little bit closer to the glass and brings out her reflection that shows soft deceiving features that should probably be a scar now.

_Why had she stayed looking like this? For what reasons you ask? _

Her forehead touched the glass and she slowly closed her eyes trying not to show the tears that had traveled down her porcelain face.

--because somehow a part of me says he'll come back. . . even after 35 years had passed and I--- I'm afraid that he wouldn't recognize me no longer. And so I—I wanted to stay like this. And then someday---he'll come through those gates of Konoha and tells me he's sorry for not coming back—for 35 years . . . it isn't that long right?

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**_right?_**__

_it isn't---_

There is no need to lose hope, for hope is just in front of her right now, barely alive.

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**_They'll probably tell me that I'm selfish---_**

_Because I am. . . So just you wait for me, if you're not coming back then I'll go after you instead._

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Her face, much paler than faded photos, eyes were downcast snowy white. The walls were white—the wall, the ceiling. "Naruto-kun . . ." she started, it was very unlikely that she, the timid Hinata would be the one who would break the silence, whereas the loudest ninja was around.

They spent the earliest hours of evening sitting beside each other in metal and plastic gray chairs, dry-eyed and waiting. And still the walls were as white as the concept of heaven.

"Its not your fault, Sakura-san . . . she--- she would not like it if she wakes up seeing you being sad because of her." His eyes like darkened sky a lost paradise floating somewhere away from this world that was only painted in white.

Then finally a trademark fox-grin. "Hinata-chan! That's the most I heard from you." Mouth slightly open she smiled with cheeks tinted with red. He grinned even wider.

_Maybe _**he thought **_this world isn't just painted with white._

Just—maybe . . .

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Where was she? The little weak creature that always needed help, the one who had blossomed as a flower on her own. She, who survive in warm smiles, she who had family and friends that he never had, she who had said that despite of having family and friends she'll be as alone as I am when I leave her.

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_I'm so scared that you will see  
All the weakness inside of me_

Where had she gone? Nobody bothers to answer him but the continuous red-sounding beeps cutting the line on a gray monitor. According to it, she was still alive, but according to the silence between gaps of beeping machine, she was already dead.

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_I'm so scared of letting go  
That the pain I feel will show,_

He was beginning to miss little things. Stupid fragments that he'd never before thought about. After late night training, walking together, date proposal, undying love affection. Where is all of this now?

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_I know you want to hear me speak  
But I'm afraid that if  
I start to-- I'll never stop_

He thought it humorlessly hilarious. Sitting there, watching the papery white of her hands on his. Because he'd spent years with her, never once wondering what he had done to deserve such attention, such affections.

_I want you to know   
You belong in my life  
I love the hope I see in your eyes_

Even the most insignificant things, I remember it all. When I close my eyes I could still see them, hear them. Those stories she'll tell them, and he seen it in her eyes she just wants him to listen, and do the same, return her feelings.

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_For you I would fly  
At least I would try_

Up until now, while lying silently covered with white blankets, she was listening to him, looking at him unnoticeably. He clutches her hand tighter. Good thing Kakashi had leave the room to have a meeting with the Hokage. Good thing no one would see him, hear him like this. But only her, eyes slightly apart, but had gone unnoticed to him. She was half-awake somehow.

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_I'm afraid that you will leave  
As my secrets have been revealed_

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_"You know what Sakura? There was this boy—who thought he had grown as a man . . ." _Both his hands were now holding her little one, like a boy clutching to her own mother, pleading to never leave him.

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_In my dreams you'll always stay  
Every breathing moment_

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_"Yet he was still a boy. He tried to act so strong and brave when all along he was just scared . . . scared of losing something important again." _Sasuke paused for a while trying to contain the sobs joining the deafening sound of beeping machines.

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_I cannot hold back  
The truth no more  
I let you wait too long_

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_"For everything precious to him seems to disappear from his life, that is why—he refused to believe"_ He kissed her hands almost desperately trying to make her listen, and he didn't know she already was doing so, all along.

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_Although it's hard_

_And scares me so_

_A life without you_

_Scares me more_

_Scares me more_

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**"--that she was indeed precious to him."**

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"You're late! You're becoming more like Kakashi-pervert day by day! Is that how a Hokage should act?" little Aiko scolded her own teacher without hesitation. She was sitting on one of the 'horses' at the carousel that was a little bit rusty already from being abandoned for years.

Tsunade leered at her little pupil and walk closely towards her seating on another vacant 'horse'. "Sorry Aiko-chan, the most beautiful woman needs her own time"

"Tsk--Have you been crying?" the little girl's eyebrows furrowed looking at her teacher who kept silent for a while not answering her question.

"No, I'm not." Tsunade replied trying not to sound too cold for the child. "Then why are your cheeks stained with tears? Is that why you're late? " Tsunade didn't say anything and left her seat. Aiko, being the smart kid just sighed and tried to break the dangerous silence.

"Maybe you're getting old so I won't ask further, mother said it's rude to push so many questions on old people." She snickered and she knew what was coming next, she quickly left her seat and jump to avoid her sensei's deadly needles.

"If that is the case why don't you stop asking then?"

"Then why don't you just answer me instead? Its not like I'm making fun of you for crying, even as a Hokage you have all rights to cry too. It's just that you have never really answer me to any personal question I ask. You still didn't even tell me why you always wanted to look young when in fact you're already 55."

"You don't just look like your mother, you act like her too!" Tsunade tried to laugh not really answering the girl's question, hoping the girl would leave the topic off. "Your misleading this conversation, just tell me what it is I'm just—worried—I guess."

"Shouldn't you worry for your mother instead?" The little girl shook her head slowly and looked straight at Tsunade. "She's going to be fine, I know that for sure. She wouldn't need me for now. She might be weak—but I can be strong for her instead. Its not that hard" She faked a smile and look down at her feet.

_For God's sake! Off course it's hard! Its not just losing a mother_

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_Its not just losing a parent_

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_It's losing a family . . ._

Aiko sat down on another 'horse' and leaned her cheeks to the pole while staring at her feet. "Aiko-chan---after a week or so I will be leaving my title as a Hokage, but that is not the reason why I'm crying, you don't have to know, I'm sorry but you might not see me for a long time after that. And as for my look" she paused for a little while trying to comprehend her own words.

"I guess I was a bit like your mother too, waiting for someone and in the meantime hides herself to the whole world of what she had become"

"Why--?" Aiko lift her head to see her sensei gone. There are still so many questions to ask but she sighed dejectedly and tried to sleep there. "How sad—I wanted someone to listen to me about the story I learned at the academy this morning. About horse carousels . . ."

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**They kept on chasing one another, forgetting the fact that they are already programmed to be just like that. And mostly, they forgot about this one simple yet important thing. It's about waiting, for the time all would stop moving.**

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_When all problems are gone, that is when you go and chase your dreams again, not going after it while you are still turning and facing circles of problem.****_

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**But Tsunade unfortunately, forgot that. **

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**Author's Note: **Woo-hoo!!! I'm back! I know some of you might be confuse with this chapter but this is like a bridge sort of chapter. I told you guys already there's gonna be a new twist, hehe this is the start!

Okay some hint for those who haven't have an idea yet, on this chapter **_some_** scenes are put backward, which means what happens first comes in the last while the last comes in the first. Hehe confuse? You'll get it for sure. I hope you would all still read my story.

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**IMPORTANT!**

**Please tell me what pairings you like for this fic. Its not that I'm undecided but some twist won't hurt ne? I know that on the summary I wrote "sasusaku" but my head is a little screwed up so hehe it might not be sasusaku in the end, _REMEMBER_ I'm NOT saying "it _WOULD_ be" I'm saying "it _COULD_ be"**

Well enough of that, please review! Pwease! And my apologies for not updating faster because I had some problems with my computer…. Hope you guys understand. All sorts of comments are welcome and suggestion too.


	5. Icha Icha Paradise

I had thought about dreaming—to relinquish all the pain and doubts. To let the madness of life take over me. But her heart is just wavering at this moment. And soon she'll disappear.

**_Ephemeral . . ._**__

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_A feeling that is supposed to disappear. She had always been like the swift wind. To be felt, to be known __that it is real, and yet---_

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**It's a love that never was.**

She'll be there, but never for him. A spring flower who belongs in winter's coldness—with solitude. There might be a long distance between those two seasons . . . but somehow he knows . . . that one point in time--- they'll still found each other . . . In a never-ending cycle of seasons. ****

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**_--In each other's arms._**

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And he just hopes that before that time comes, he'll be able to contain himself. –Into loneliness once again . . . behind his mask, behind sharingan eye, behind his book, behind false paradise . . .

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**_Copy-ninja-Kakashi._**

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He was on the verge of his sanity, as he sits on a chair in his apartment, his table in front, his book waiting to be open, and her wandering emerald eyes.

"Am I bothering you?" he could feel her movements on his bed, he knows her gaze passing through the two photos above the headboard of his bed.

"No"

"Are you mad at me? You know I didn't mean to break your window" she paused, thinking of a better explanation. "It's just that man downstairs who mention himself as the owner of this apartment, kept on bothering me with his stupid date offers so I—ugh thought I'll use the window but then when I knock-- I kind of hit it too hard and so—it's broken already the time you came. Don't worry I'll try fixing it, I think I have a spare glass window in my backyard I'll--"

"Don't worry I'll be able to do it on my own, its quite old anyway."

"But I--" He laid his hand down onto the top of the book, his back still facing her.**__**

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_It had actually been a year already since she came back._

"Like I said, don't worry about it. After all, you're my favorite kunoichi (female ninja) student"

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_--Come back after searching for that Uchiha, A year since she became a mother._

"I'm the only female student you have." Sakura retorted. She sadly looks at the two picture inside two frames located on the headboard of his bed. One in which his former teammates are together with his younger self added by their own sensei, the fourth hokage.

. . .And the other one? It was a picture of them--- the four of them. She was smiling so beautifully back then, she tried to imitate the little girl's smile that was on the photo and found out she couldn't.

Suddenly, the atmosphere between them changes into a dreary, uncomfortable way.

"Look at me" she demanded, delicately removing the photo from its frame and chose to look at it a little more closely, wondering if the girl in the picture was still the same as the one who is holding it right now. "Look-at-me!" she demanded him once more.

Damn! Sakura and her mood swings.

But Kakashi remained seated quietly now beginning to open his precious book. He re-read the title of the first chapter and asked himself 'does Jiraya-sama _has his new source of inspiration to write except peeking through ladies public bath?'_

"Is that perverted book much more interesting than me?" her hair was slowly caressing her cheeks as the tingling afternoon air came in through the wide-open window. It was actually irritating to talk to a person who doesn't seem to listen, it appears like Kakashi has his own battle in mind as he further read the first chapter of his book—_and hope Jiraya-sama didn't start to get inspiration through his number one reader which was actually him._

"Damn you! Damn you! Damn you!" she chanted continuously still not able to gain his attention.

For the first time he wanted to hate his favorite book. For the first time he found it saying the truths in his life . . .

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**_-A girl student stuck in a woman's life- _**he read.

Even being called as one of the courageous and strong ninja of the village, _Copy-ninja-Kakashi was scared on this very battle, and didn't dare to look at her._

But for so many experiences he had in combat, he knew and would always remember the treacherous smell of blood. Finally, for the first time in this unusual day he turns around and faces his own battle.

Her right hand was holding a piece of the broken glass window stained with her own blood, he stares at her left wrist bleeding continuously down, and down slowly pouring into the poor photograph, it streaked towards the girl's red dress in the picture, _she was smiling so beautifully . . ._

"What-is-wrong-with-you?" he asked as he grabbed her bleeding wrist only to wrapped it with a white handkerchief. And unfortunately for the photograph, the two was transported into their worlds leaving it to fly, and fly, carried by the wind outside, a poor forgotten photograph.

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_But if flesh would cease to wither_

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_"Why don't you just look at me?" _he had wrapped her around his large arms, burying her head into his chest. **"Stop it"** he mumbled, his chin on top of her head. _"—of what I've become?"_

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_And if beauty would not fade_

He looked down at her face, his self-control slipping away. Slowly, even when he's still wearing his mask, he leaned down to make contact with her pink lips. Somehow, he cursed the cloth separating the dimensions of their lips. Somehow, he cursed --- the fourteen years of gap between them.

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_And if passion's fire would not burn out_

Unconsciously, at the back of his mind he repeated the title of the first chapter---

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**"My sensei's in love with me"**

My sensei—is in love with—me . . .

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_I would give my soul in trade . . ._

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_I'd give my soul . . ._

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**"Tadaima" **

by: ethereal-moonrain

* * *

**Chapter 4: _Icha Icha Paradise_**_ (Come Come Paradise)_

_There is love that will last you forever_

_Love that will last you for your life_

_Love you should instantly sever_

_Love you should cling to with all your might_

_And love that fades away_

_Love that festers day by day_

_To a wretched state of decay_

* * *

There was no comfort now. Not here. Not like this.

"Why are you so--- annoying?" he whispered through hurting throat. His skin so much paler than ever, insomnia and constant skips of meal has finally taken its toll on him. "Sakura---if one time you had gathered all your wits to be strong just to search for me . . . then please be strong again, even for this time only, be strong and fight whatever you are to fight. Just—please—I want you to find me again, now that I'm sure I'll be able to let myself be found."

She said nothing in response. Anyone who had known her before all of this ordeal happened, anyone who had seen her open eyes, heard her voice, witnessed her beautiful smile would be miserable now. Like he was. Like her parents, like her best friend, like some annoying teammate, like her teacher, her friends, her animated suitors, her daughter, and Konohagure as a whole.

"Sakura, I'm sorry--"

It was late morning. There was nothing but thick clouds, no rain but gloomy. It had rained hard yesterday, and for the past few days too. He felt her fingers moved in the most slightly way between his large ones. The remaining shards of hope were beginning to rise up again, telling him it'll be all right after this.

But the next words between constant breathing of her struggling lungs said otherwise.

"Itachi . . ."

Sasuke stood from his sitting position, despite his wobbling legs. He felt so much like a fool. Sitting there miserably day and night, not being able to contain himself from staying beside her. No—he was more than a fool. Of every single time in a day since he found her there on the hospital bed did he not give himself a time to eat or even drink, even sleep was abandoned, just for her then – just this?

But then, when you look back at those years when they were all still younger, she had suffered more than he did even if he and Naruto or even Kakashi are always the one who received greater damage after battle, in a sense she was lonelier than them. Her wounds, much deeper, killing her inside out

Because he remembered all of the things she said to him. She does know what true loneliness is.

**_Sasuke, do you plan on being alone again?_**

_Silence._

**_You were—the one who told me about the pain of loneliness._**

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It's alright if yesterday's gone****

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**_Right now, I feel that loneliness too._**

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_It's okay it's all right_

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**_Even though I have family and friends,_**

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There's no yesterday****

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**_But without Sasuke-kun in my life—_**

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_There's no promise back then_

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**_--to me—_**

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There's nothing in there****

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**_To me . . ._**

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Lets just find it here

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**_I'll still be lonely as you are!_**

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There's no yesterday. No promise. No paradise. But only you and me—and maybe it's enough . . .

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Those were her words before. And he had been a fool not to acknowledge that back then. For he understood now somehow, about the loneliness she felt.

_It is the pain that you feel when you are just beside the one you love and yet feel loneliness all the same._

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With close eyes and clenched fist, he went outside the unfavorable hospital room. Not able to hear her next words clearly.

". . . I'll never forgive you . . ."

* * *

She had always thought of herself being good at flower arrangement and or flower language. She felt angered not knowing which is best suited to her ever-so-hated best friend. For even rivalry could never take away something so precious, off course, rivalry could never take their friendship away.

The bells suddenly rang signaling someone entering the shop. She quickly turns to look at the direction of the door and faked a welcoming smile "Welcome to Yamanaka's—Oh! Shikamaru." The young man nodded, his shoulder slumped lazily with hands on his pockets.

"Been to the memorial again?" she asked trying to make herself busy arranging a new flower set. "Yeah—thanks for those flowers." He replied leaning his elbows into the counter looking down at the busy girl. Ino still notice the weary in his voice up until now. "If you'll ask me I still think junk food is better than flowers--"

"Well no one ask you!" Shikamaru retorted quickly, but then she was always use on being pampered and all, and it was so unusual of Shikamaru to shout at her, knowing HER, INO as in Ino. "Why I'm just stating my opinion here!" he shrugged and sighed dejectedly. He's too lazy to even bother starting a conversation let alone an argument. Especially her—

"A single field of daisies . . . do you know what it means?" she sighed changing the topic, as she leans her back into the chair to look at him, not really expecting an answer. "It means—I'll be thinking of you." He answered nonchalantly closing his hazy eyes.

"She used to give daisies to Sasuke-kun when he's at the hospital. I remember back then, we are planning to visit Sasuke-kun at the hospital after the elimination during the chuunin exam. I had chosen a rose and she daisies." She paused and smiled longingly at him. "That time I admitted to her that she's getting good at it . . . she use to know so little about it before." He furrowed his eyebrows and opens his eyes to gaze at hers.

"I heard she's awake now."

"Yeah—will you come too?"

"I have no choice anyway, you'll make me come no matter what."

A smile.

"I'm glad you know."

* * *

_He always says that he didn't want her in his life_

"Are you feeling better now?" worried single eye. His hands were inside his pocket while standing at the side of her hospital bed.

_He said he didn't care_

"I had this dream---" unfocused emerald eyes glaring at the white ceiling. "That he was just beside me the whole time. He said he was sorry, he said that--- I was precious to him . . . He said things that I longed to hear before."

_He said she was nothing to him_

She smiled at the ceiling. Bittersweet love.

_He said she was only blocking his way._

"I felt--- happiness." She averted her gaze from the ceiling to look at her side, to see him with his mask covering half of his face, with his konoha headband slanted covering his other eye. "—but he's not here. But somehow—but somehow—I felt glad." And tears. Bittersweet love.

_He said . . . he promise---_

"Kakashi-sensei . . . do you hate me?" he looked at her questioningly. She seated herself, looking so miserable. "Why would I be? You're my—favorite kunoichi student." He smiled. A lost paradise. Bittersweet love.

_He'll protect her with all his life._

__

Uchiha Sasuke let himself slide down outside the door of the hospital room. Hearing all her soft whispers, and Kakashi's warm comforting voice. He knows well that the jounin inside that room is fully aware of his presence, of his weary soul.

_And it was only this time did Kakashi understands it so well__ . . . That when Sasuke says he'll protect her, he actually meant it. Right now he really had confirmed that Uchiha Sasuke is a man who kept his words not that he had doubted it before. But only for that lone reason, for that one promise, he knows the boy couldn't stop hurting himself. That is why he let it become just a dream forever. For him, for her—for everyone else._

Because he said he'll protect her.

****

**_With all his life._**

****

****

****

Because if the god of truth would be asked of whoever gives her most pain . . . It was no doubt--- him. The Uchiha survivor.

And if Haruno Sakura herself would be asked of whoever gives her most happiness . . . It was no doubt—him. The Uchiha prodigy.

And if Haruno Sakura would be asked again of whoever gives her most comfort . . . it was no doubt---**_him._** The Konoha's infamous copy-ninja Kakashi.

* * *

_I heard she loved you, I heard she actually cared._

Tsunade couldn't help but to stare dumbly at the broken glasses on the floor drowned in water. Like a broken aquarium, with its fish gone.

**_Dan—what have I done? _**

****

****

****

"You revived a monster . . ." startled by the unknown deep voice, Tsunade readied herself, a kunai on her hand. "What's with the surprise face? Tsunade-san---I think you're getting old . . . way too old." The unidentified man chuckled lowly, his figure slowly appearing from the shadows.

"H-how did--"

"Come on Tsunade, it was you who resurrected me!"

"Oh my god . . . Sakura—so you're the one who attacked her!" she exclaimed already knowing who the man is. "Tsunade, Tsunade . . . this was your doing right? You were the one who resurrected me, and now you're acting 'clueless' what the hell is wrong with you?"

Yesterday's gone there's no return.

"This is not what I wanted. God—how can I go this far with my selfishness?" hands limply falling to her sides.

And she cries all night.

* * *

**Author's Note: **

**what the hell is wrong with ? its so hard to format things...i'm very sorry if you find it difficult to read because of the crazy formatting, i can't seem to make it right....double spacing isn't working grr.... anyway...**

I'm not too sure about this chapter, but this story is still in development soo it might sound uninteresting at this point . . . This chapter is actually planned to be Kakashi-centric (look at the title) since he'll be playing a big role here, but others will too. Erm—you guys did get the idea in the first scene ne? its connected with the last chapter, you'll be seeing lots of that in the future.

Hmm…. I'm also decided about the pairings but sorry--- for the sake of not spoiling the story I won't tell, hope you people understand. But Sasusaku fans ( I know most of you are) **have faith in me!** (but if you are desperate to know the pairing then always pay attention to the summary outside, does it says kakasaku in the end? or sasusaku? Nejisaku? Or whatever…Sakura would be playing the main role, other pairings without her are too obvious (or maybe not on the upcoming chapters!) tee-hee I like confusing people since I'm confuse myself haha.

And also! This fanfic would not completely revolve with sasusaku. There would be other characters connected with the storyline, since I think that it would be a better idea not to just limit it with those two. Let's just say that this is a tale about the search of everyone's "homes" wherever it could be.

Sooo me hopes you readers will support me on the way. . . I really need reviews to guide me through this.

Keep the reviews coming. All the suggestions or comments. . .

**P.S.:** My apology for not putting a SPOILER ALERT although I think that almost all of you are updated with the manga or the series. I am not really that updated since they stop airing Naruto and my only source for now is ! go there if you want to scan the mangas! This site is highly recommended.

And another thing I forgot to put! What else? A DISCLAIMER! (sorry I just remembered it after dreaming being catch by the police for not putting one). So here it goes( I'll only put it once kay?):

**DISCLAIMER: **Me own this anime so BACK OFF!!! Yeah I just lend this to Masashi Kishimoto HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! ---**hears police sirens**—

Wheeps! Gomen! I was lying! I don't own it! Masashi Kishimoto-sama does!

**NOTICE!**

****

Can anybody please tell me the ranks in mission and how it differs (I mean class blah blah mission is for jounins something like that)… and another question. . . what are the ranks of a shinobi…I know it started with being a genin, chuunin, then jounin….

**But what are the "ANBU" or "Hunter-nin"??? and are all medical nin should reached jounin status before they become one??? Or could they be just a chuunin to become one medical nin? **

**ANd another question, is Chouji and Neji....d-dead??? really dead??? ahem....Please somebody help me! Ja matta ne!**

**Everyone thanks for the reviews! **


	6. Shallow Days

It was five years ago . . .

_Uchiha Sasuke lays on his bed, letting the tapping of rain on his rooftop lulled him to sleep. He kind of like it this way when his room seems to be less empty. _

_With her beside him. _

_He might have been the one who protect her during battles, but during the night she protect him, from all of the monsters in his head._

_There were still anxiety on his mind, but he chooses to ignore it for a while, as he looks at the delicate flower beside him_ _as she lay on her side with her back facing him, her small figure perfectly fitted on the suppose to be empty space of his bed and with her long pink hair cascading onto the white pillows. He wanted to make her turn around and face him, let him know if she's awake, let him see her face, let him memorize every single detail of her being. _

_"I— I overheard your conversation with Tsunade-sama this morning."_

_He turned his attention on the white ceiling; there were some cracks here and there. He didn't feel like getting into this discussion because she always ended up crying after. And that's the last thing he wanted to see._

_"You're leaving?"_

_"Aa"_

_"It's raining."_

_"Aa"_

_"Bring an umbrella"_

_"Aa"_

_"H-how long--?"_

_"I don't know…"_

_"-How long – would you hold my hand?"_

_He paused and realized he'd been clutching her hands so tightly. He gave her hand a squeeze and closes his eyes._

_". . .forever. . ."_

**_"Tadaima"_**

by: ethereal-moonrain

**Chapter 5: _Shallow Days_**

_It's Time Time Time_

They all pretend they're Orphans

And their memory is like a train

You can see it getting smaller as it pulls away

And the things you can't remember

Tell the things you can't forget that

History puts a saint in every dream

Well she said she'd stick around

Until the bandages came off

* * *

The sun finally made its way that afternoon, say goodbye to the rain for a while as the clouds were gathering in the vast sky. The grass were still wet but he didn't mind and lay there under one tree, the one with a swing, the same old swing his teammate use to sit on just to sulk and drown himself to loneliness. It was quite silent since the classes aren't over yet.

There was a little dragonfly that prefers to rest on his black hair and he didn't care at all. A second or so he felt it flew away with another presence coming, and also decide to lay under the tree a few inches from him, he didn't have to look sideways to see who it is.

"I thought you were to visit her?" Sasuke's voice was bitter and deep.

"Girls—they're so troublesome." He mumbled, his mouth playing with a stem he pulled out somewhere.

"First, Ino won't let me not come, then just right now she thought I'm a bother to their conversation."

"You were there the whole time, why leave now she's awake?" there was something on Shikamaru's voice that says he already know and the comment made Sasuke's lips turn into a thin line, meaning a change in his mood or thoughts. But all in all he didn't say anything.

"Bah! Even guys are troublesome!" there were another batch of clouds coming; one looks like a single petal, that also kind of look like a leaf.

"Don't judge her so harshly Sasuke—I don't want to meddle in anyone's affair, it was never been a habit of mine. But you—you were not here long enough to know anyway."

"What do you know anyway?" Sasuke said harshly sitting up.

"I almost pitied her back then." He said nonchalantly " It wouldn't be right though, girls are too emotional. Ino would have killed me if I do. The cherry girl has a lot to take and to pity her would like be looking down at her. She's fragile."

"Why am I talking to you again?" really it wasn't Shikamaru to talk that much, but he did so this time.

"Just don't hurt her anymore. She's Ino's best friend, although she hides it, that girl will not hesitate to kill you even she liked you . . . before." There was a mixture of carelessness and bitterness on his voice that didn't go unnoticed by Sasuke. There was a long gap of silence until Sasuke spoke.

"Tell me what happened, tell me what you know." This time Sasuke's voice was calm almost pleading but Shikamaru now decides to keep his mouth shut his eyes were close. He's sleeping.

"Hn." He narrowed his eyes looking so distant, trying to imagine what happened five years ago . . .

She says she's okay. He thought she'd just stay behind and waste the days sulking on a room. But she was already standing on a cliff that was ready to fall. And if it falls—

She'll fall . . . And I know she'll break.

But I have to go even before the sun shines. She comes and goes. Drifting through the scenery of the shallow days below . . . and everybody knew that.

_You follow trains out of town and they vanish somewhere under the horizon . . ._ Yeah_, and I saw her_ dragged her shadow down the tracks, Staring off in the distance.

_She waves hello. She waves goodbye. _Smiling though she's sinking in the shallow days below. I can't find a way out of here. Out on the road again.

And so I'm alone again.

_I like what she said, not what it means. _I'm afraid of what it means.

She leaves me drowning through the shallow days, down below. As I heard a band playing waltzes. The sun is sinking lower and she hummed a song only she could know. And she tells herself it would be the last. She'd say goodbye to her name. Wondering what she'll do now.

Not long after the sun shines that day she left too, together with fear and dried tears. And somewhere along the way she lost her self, somewhere along the road she dropped her heart.

She began asking, fearing, she pleads but the plea didn't come. He didn't come that time, didn't come to pick up the little pieces of her broken heart. She cries innocent girl, she's not meant for the harsh world. She was too delicate and they'd spend the whole time protecting her. She didn't have to help to fight for she'd help them afterwards; she helped them, heal their inner wounds, those wounds that are so much deeper.

So I'm alone again.

Because she was still on her road away from home. She'd come back here with only a body, without anything else. It wasn't her at all, wasn't Haruno Sakura at all.

_She leaves me drowning in the shallow days way down below._

"I'm sorry", she said. "I know it's not the kind of thing you want."

_I'm falling, falling down._

"I'm sorry", she said. "I know I'm not the kind of girl you want."

_We're falling, falling, falling, falling down._

And when he looked at his calloused hand, he notices that something was amiss.

_Her hand wasn't there anymore._

* * *

"Ino-pig." She mumbled trying to sit down. "Don't be hardheaded, your forehead is already big enough to piss me off."

"Aiko-chan, I have to go at the academy. I have to--" Ino cut her off by putting her right hand on her forehead. "I'll go okay? Just stay here."

"Where's Shikamaru, Naruto, Hinata and—Kakashi-sensei?" Ino raised a brow on this and looked down at her friend. "I shooed them off because I'm getting annoyed." She smiled but it falters when Sakura began to speak again.

"A-and Sasuke?"

"He--" Ino started walking away to arrange the flowers she brought and Sakura flowed her with her eyes. "Tell me—he isn't really here huh? Is it just my hallucination?"

"N-no, he's really here. He stayed here when you were unconscious and he didn't left your side until you wake up."

"Oh"

"Wait here okay? I'll go get your medicine." Ino left Sakura staring off the window. Somehow it had taken her minutes to come back. "After you drink this medicine, I'm going to fetch Aiko so do it now. Here." She handed Sakura with a glass of water and two capsules. She stares at it for a moment and sighed.

"This is a different one, I kinda like the previous ones that has flavors. She bit her lips as if hesitating but swallowed it immediately not letting her taste bud work. "Guess I'll be leaving you for now, I'll be back later with _our_ child." She smiled at Sakura who was now starting to feel drowsy and is not paying attention anymore. Ino open the door and take a last look at Sakura.

"Oh, Ino-pig—bring an umbrella."

"It already stops raining Sakura."

"Just to be sure. And also—thanks _Ino-pig_."

"Your welcome _Sakura_." Sakura rubs her eyes that was beginning to water, she yawn and rested her head on the pillows. She whole-heartedly thanked Ino for being there, She remembered that she had forgotten to ask who took care of Aiko-chan while she's here. It couldn't be the Tsunade-sama since a Hokage are to busy. Maybe Kakashi did, or Naruto with Hinata. She dismissed the thought and let sleep invade her.

* * *

The bells on the ninja academy already went off making the two men outside wake up from their thoughts. From a short distance they saw the children coming out excitedly, running towards their parents some goes with their group of friends and played somewhere. Minutes passing they notice the campus half-emptied already, just some kids running from place to place.

Sasuke noticed one girl being left out, there was some group of girls beside her and looks like they were now speaking to her. He narrowed his eyes and being a ninja helped him to know exactly what they were saying.

"Looks like Aiko doesn't have someone to fetch her!" one of the girls said, she was a chubby red haired girl. "Oh! And did you know she doesn't have a father! Maybe she was just thrown somewhere." The group of girls began to laugh as Aiko stayed quite, hiding her anger inside.

"C-come on guys, Aiko does have a mother!" a little girl with glasses retorted "Hmph! Maybe she's so ugly. Hana don't try to act hero, you know that were telling the truth." Aiko bit her lips this time trying to maintain her cool.

"No! I already saw her mother and--"

"Ahh! Just shut up! Aiko still has no father like I have who is a very great shinobi! And my mom is so beautiful much more beautiful that Aiko's mom for sure!" the chubby girl retorted, looking happy with the reaction Aiko was giving. She was now biting her lips so hard and is already trembling.

"And she thinks so high of herself since the Hokage tutors her sometimes!" The girl was going to start saying something again when they notice a man coming towards them.

"Aiko-chan, we're supposed to visit your mother so hurry up." The little girls looked up the man's handsome face.

"W-what?" Aiko began to stutter remembering he was the man she met before. "Let's go." Sasuke looked at the hesitant Aiko and hold her hand, he looked at the girls gaping at him and tried to smile but it came out with a smirk.

"Are you Aiko's friends? Sorry but we need to go." With that they left with Sasuke clutching Aiko's hand.

"H-hey" Aiko started as the walked away. Why do you let those girls bully you around?" Sasuke asked now letting go of the girl's hand but Aiko had clutch onto it again.

"N-ne. . . You're related to my mother right?"

"C-couldn't you be my father?"

". . ." he didn't say anything instead he placed his right hand on the girl's head and messed up her pink hair. "You're annoying." He mumbled as they reached the current tree that he had been resting just moment ago. He looked at Shikamaru who was still lying down onto the grass.

"Hello there Aiko!" the girl nodded in response and pouted. "Hey, Shikamaru-san . . . Am I annoying?" Shikamaru opened one of his eyes to peek at the girl.

"Yeah—girls are annoying." Aiko was to retort back when they notice Ino coming in their way. Shikamaru raised his brow and looked at Ino's direction. "I'm supposed to fetch Aiko today." She said, trying not to look at Sasuke.

"Lets go Aiko, your mom's waiting." Hesitantly the little girl followed leaving the two men.

"Something's wrong." Shikamaru stated, he looked at Sasuke and by the look on his face he had confirmed his thoughts.

* * *

_**It was that time when her womb carries something inside, carries another life. Stepping on the dried soil made it seemed that her womb gets heavier every seconds.**_

_**He looked sideways on her and reaches out his hand to her. **_

_**"Let me hold your hand" he said, kind of worried and uncertain. **_

"No--"

_**And he didn't need to ask anymore. The reason is clear. There's already someone holding her hand. **_

_**Even during the shallowest days. She held onto the hope of him still holding her hand**_

_**. . . forever . . . **_

* * *

****

The hospital room was silent, no more beeping machine, and no more wire tubes on her skin. Her chest moving up and down as she was in a deep slumber. The door creaked open, revealing Ino with Aiko trailing behind.

"Is she—all right?" the girl asked but Ino didn't answer and walked towards Sakura. She placed her hand on her forehead her lips turned into a fine line.

"Sakura, I'm back." She whispered leaning over to her ears. She didn't wake up but move her body to the right side. Aiko watched as Ino moved her fingers on Sakura's pink haired, and then suddenly she turned to her.

"Do you want something to drink Aiko?" the girl simply nodded and moves over towards her mother. Her skin was still pale but was recovering she thought. Moments later Ino came back holding a glass of milk. "Ino-san! You know I like cold milk!"

"I'm sorry but—there's no hot water." She handed the glass on the girl and eyed her closely. Aiko stared at her glass of milk, biting her lips then started to drink the milk. She sat down on her mother's hospital bed and rubbed her eyes a little.

"Are you tired? You could sleep beside your mom for a while, I'll wake you two up later." Ino smiled and get the glass away from Aiko.

"Sleep well"

* * *

Later that night, Shikamaru went on the hospital with Sasuke following, walking with his hands inside his pockets.

"Somebody call the security!" a nurse cried looking pallid running on the corridors. Both men went on the place or rather room the nurse had went into.

Inside they saw Yamanaka Ino's body tied up in a rope inside one of the medical cabinets. Her blue eyes slightly opened and a scratch on her left cheeks.

* * *

_**That night the sky was exceptionally beautiful, over decorated by shining bright stars. Sakura stands besides her sensei who was leaning his back on the railing of the red bridge as he reads his book.**_

_**"Kakashi-sensei . . . how long is forever?"**_

_**He looked at her as if searching the answer on her eyes. The answer was actually written on her.**_

_**"Forever—there's no such thing."**_

_**--Because you . . . are always fleeting. There's no forever Sakura-chan.**_

_**"I thought so."**_

_**"You thought what?"**_

"He didn't hold my hand anymore."** She reached out her right hand to the air as if waiting for someone to hold it. And he holds her hand.**

_He clamped his large left hand on hers, without even looking at her._

_"I could hold your hand."_

* * *

**Author's Note: **I'm quite depressed these days; there are many things I have to do and all. So bare with me if I update late okay? I hope you understand and still keep on reading this story. Also thanks for the wonderful reviews! Please when you read, make sure that you leave a review! Thanks! That's all for now. Read and Review! Au revoir! Leave any comment you like, I'm open to things. And the longer the better so don't be shy on making a long review I appreciate it the most!. 


	7. broken

_There were broken pieces of glass. _

_He looks at the mirror and he sees **him **instead. _

_Hitting it hard to causes thousand images of that man to stare back at him. _

_Someday I'll be like my brother!_

_There were tears falling . . ._

_You look so much like your brother now ne? _

_Are these tears?_

Do you--?__

_It taste bitter._

--love your brother so much?

_It feels so unfamiliar._

--To make you hate him this much.

_"Sasuke-kun."_

_"I thought you were asleep?"_

_"—You're bleeding, let me--"_

_"Just go, Sakura"_

_"But at least let me--"_

_"Just go! Damn it!" Sasuke cried punching the wall with his already bleeding hand, and she clearly understands it. She turns around and left him bleeding on that room, as she lay motionless on the bed. _

_Later she heard him crawling beside her, but she didn't turn to look at him, as he appears to be counting the cracks on the ceiling._

_The rain was pouring hard onto the rooftop. It was loud, lulling both of them to sleep._

_He glances over her __small figure perfectly fitted on the suppose to be empty space of his bed and with her long pink hair cascading onto the white pillows._

_"I— I overheard your conversation with Tsunade-sama this morning."_

_"You're leaving?"_

_"Aa"_

_"It's raining."_

_"Aa"_

_"Bring an umbrella"_

_"Aa"_

_"H-how long--?"_

_"I don't know…"_

_"-How long – would you hold my hand?"_

_He paused and realized he'd been clutching her hands so tightly. He gave her hand a squeeze and closes his eyes._

_". . .forever. . ."_

But on that same night he had let go of her hand. . .

Expecting her to grab it back, but she didn't. Maybe he wasn't expecting it, but hoping that she will because . . . if she ever did hold his hand so tightly, he may not want to leave, because he never did want to anyway.

For it was different this time, different from confessing her love just to stop him from going to Orochimaru, it was different from Naruto's rasengan. It was different, too different with the touch of her hand.

"Just promise me one thing Sasuke-kun, go back to your home."

_Isn't this your home?_

" . . . Wherever could it be." He narrowed his eyes, his lips turning into a fine line.

"Because I know that even you stay, you'll still be far away so I . . . I won't hold you back this time."

****

**_'But I . . . want you to.'_**_ But those words didn't reach her anymore, only with the lingering warmth of his hand did._

_Yes, it certainly did reach her until now._

_There were broken pieces of glass._

_Do you--?_

The rain was pouring hard.

_--love your brother so much?_

_There were tears falling._

His tears were falling.

**"Tadaima"**

by: ethereal-moonrain

**Chapter 6: _Broken_**

****

The dreams we had and we shared - shattered, broken  
  
With kind words you'd come to soothe me 

_But I go blind and filled with fear  
  
_

_Would send you away from me  
  
_

_There is no hope in regretting now  
  
_

_All the pain that we could not see  
  
_

_We both knew what we wanted  
  
_

_And we took it believing it free  
  
_

_And we took it believing it free._

* * *

Sometimes—when a flame was push to its limits it disappear, you blow it hard it'll grow, but blow it too much would only leave a trace of the suffocating smoke.

Between silence and void they stood.

"Itachi--?"

The darkness of their eyes was a whirlpool. The space between them, a sanctuary . . .

"You're alive?"

"No--"

I understand.

"Leave."

I understand what you feel.

"You shouldn't have buried me wholly, Sasuke. "

I'm not sure if I'm alive too.

"Leave!" Sasuke banged his hands on the open door and heard his brother laughing at him, taunting him. He saw Itachi performing some seals and so his reflexes got the better of him. He used an in-out kick towards Itachi's hand and manages to pin him onto the windowsill.

"Sasuke—you're just as weak as I remember no—weaker."

"That's a lie!"

"It isn't brother. You're a weakling from the start, a weakling 'till the end."

"That's a lie!"

"You're coward in your own little ways! Even if you could defeat me, burn me into pieces, you're still weak!"

"That's a lie!"

_"Just stop it now stupid brother!"_

_"I'll—I'll prove it to you that everything I've worked for all my life is worth it! And then—and then . . ."_

_"And then what?" _Sasuke glance at his mirror-like image, the eyes of his own brother mocking him. For a split second his tight grip on Itachi loosened a little making the captive escaped his hold.

The two brothers were making the most of the room fighting with their hands bearing the little space the room provides them. Sasuke went for the offensive, trying to make his punches reach its target. While on the other hand Itachi only blocked every attack Sasuke throw onto him. But unfortunately for Itachi, Kakashi entered the room alerted by his presence. The newcomer quickly adopted what was happening and so he went on Itachi's back and hold him using both his arms, now Itachi couldn't use both his hands. Itachi looked at Sasuke and leered.

"Sasuke! Use the chidori! NOW!" his sensei exclaimed, tightening his grip on Itachi.

"What a great tag-team! Superb!" his grin grows wider. "Now what would you do next Sasuke?" It was suspiciously obvious that Itachi was just hiding his strength to mock both Sasuke and Kakashi.

But Sasuke was just trembling his left hand was holding his right wrist but didn't use the chidori. "What are you doing Sasuke!? Do the chidori NOW!" Kakashi shouted again looking at his student. "NOW!" he repeated but only sees Sasuke still trembling.

"Tell me Sasuke. It isn't really the safety of Kakashi that you are being weary of am I right?" Itachi's sharingan eyes went back into its black ones.

_That's a lie!_

"Tell me one more thing Sasuke. Are you afraid to kill me? Is twelve years enough for that flame of revenge dies?" With that his body turns into ashes, leaving a dark mark on the floor as if it was burned. Leaving the other two puzzled.

Uchiha Itachi left but his voice echoes so clearly on Sasuke's head.

He didn't know what he is doing, but he was sure that he doesn't want to kill his brother all over again. Because twelve years is enough, for him to remember how he still love his brother. As much as he wanted to deny it, he was still that boy who was yearning to be like his brother, he was still that boy who yearns for the affection . . .

_That's a lie!_

Because before there was an orphan boy, before there was an avenger, there was just a boy. And that was him.

That's . . .

_a lie?_

But one thing is for sure. If Itachi was the one who killed the whole Uchiha clan, it was Sasuke who killed his own self.

* * *

"How many times do I have to remind you not to call me that?"

"'ba-san! 'ba-san! 'ba-san!"

"Uzumaki Naruto! I'm serious here!" the boy or rather the man saluted Tsunade his grin growing wider. "I'll listen! I'll listen!"

"Finally." Tsunade heaved a sigh massaging her forehead with closed eyes.

"Ano sa! Ano sa! You won't mind if I take this fruits to Sakura-chan right?" Naruto who was currently investigating Tsunade's office for some other things he could get, was stopped death on his tracks when he sees something familiar. Something that reminds him of his past, _their past_.

"How did this get in here?" Naruto turn his gaze on the fifth hokage, in a serious manner for a change. "Oh—Kakashi left it there. Why? Is it bothering you?"

"—no." Tsunade eyed him suspiciously and clasped her hands together in front of her face, elbows flat on the wooden table as she sat there. "Why is that photograph affecting you too much just like Kakashi?"

"Okay! Okay! I won't ask."

"Why did you call me here anyway?" He narrowed his cerulean eyes on the floor noticing its coolness on his feet while he was wearing shoes.

"To ask some—questions."

"Name it."

"What do you love most?" Naruto looks at Tsunade and smile, his real smile.

"Is that it!? Off course it's my ramen and Sakura-chan!" he paused looking at Tsunade's expression patiently waiting for him to say something more.

"And all the people of this village." Tsunade nodded and smile to him.

"I'll call you some other time. Be sure you are prepared. I'm going to give you a test."

"Test?"

"Yes, a test. For now you're dismissed." She stood from her chair and went towards the door. "And for the fruits—you could take them." Naruto stares at her back and followed. "I'm going to check up on her. Why don't you come with me?".

"Hai!" Naruto dashed off ahead of Tsunade carrying the basket full of fruits from the office.

* * *

"Are you sure its okay Hinata-chan?" Kakashi asked holding the doorknob. "Kakashi-san, Sakura is my friend too."

"Alright then. If you need something just call us, Sasuke and I will be at Sakura's old room to tidy things up things in there." He twisted the knob and opens the door for Hinata.

When Kakashi closed the door and looked to where Sasuke is, he found the boy gone. He shook his head and headed towards the direction of Sakura's previous hospital room.

Surprisingly when Kakashi get there, Sasuke was already in there. He stood to where the broken glasses are scattered.

"I can't—seem to erase my reflection . . ." he stepped on the glasses without flinching on the sound of the cracking glasses below his feet. "Do I—look like him so much?"

**_Someday I'll be like my brother!_**

****

****

"Am I—completely a shadow? A reflection of that man?" he gritted his teeth and took another step.

_You were—the one who followed him right?_

Don't . . .

Don't interfere with my life.

_Didn't I—told you that I was an avenger?_

I don't care if I pass the chuunin exam or not. I'm here to test my capacity. For all the strong people are here.

It was to test my capacity. It was essential.

* * *

****

****

**_"Father . . . and mother. W-who did--?" _**

****

On the far right side, underneath the tatami mat. Is the Uchiha clan's secret meeting place. . .

****

****

**_"Why . . . did you . . ."_**

****

****

**_"It was to measure my capacity."_**

****

****

**_". . . About my capacity, I've lost all hope for this pathetic clan. It was essential."_**

****

****

****

_"My childish games with you leafs is over."_

Don't . . .

****

****

_Don't go!_

_"I know what happened to Sasuke's family. But a thing like revenge . . . can never bring anyone happiness. It couldn't give Sasuke-kun's happiness. But I . . ."_

****

****

"Like I said. I am not like the rest of you. We have different paths that we must walk on. At first, when we were completing mission as a team, I thought that was my path. But after everything, my heart tells me that I am an avenger that is why I'm alive. I could never be like you or Naruto."

_---I will not allow anyone to take away my path, even if it is you. Sakura.---_

_" . . .Do you . . .plan to be alone again? You were the one who told me the pain of loneliness. Right now I feel that loneliness too. Even though I have family and friends . . . but without Sasuke-kun in my life . . . To me—to me—I'll still be lonely as you are!"_

_"These are just the new steps we must take, on our individual paths."_

"I . . . I like Sasuke-kun so much I can't stand it! I'm willing to do anything for Sasuke-kun. I'd kill for you! Anything you want me to do I'll do it for you! I'm begging you please stay! If—if that's not possible then please take me with you!"

****

****

**_"You—really are—annoying"_**

****

****

Don't!

_There is no hope in regretting now_

__

Don't go!

_All the pain that we could not see_

__

"Sakura-chan" In deepness of the night, in the shallowness of fate.

_We both knew what we wanted._

__

"Thank you." And he left her there, not able to hear that she was indeed precious to him.

_And we took it believing it free_

__

--If you could, then please—wait for me.---

And we took it believing it free.

* * *

"Kakashi—does Sakura lives on her own?"

"Not actually—she's with her daughter. Well, that's when Aiko is not with Tsunade."

"Oh."

"Are you worried Sasuke?" Sasuke assumed that Kakashi was smiling, as he pathetically holds the broom sweeping the floor filled with the shards of glasses Sasuke has stepped on minutes ago.

"Do you—visit her often?" Kakashi continued to sweep the floor not minding Sasuke for a while.

"No—only when necessary as to give her missions or--" he paused and transferred the pieces of broken glass on a dustpan. "—cleaning up her house."

"Aa."

"But she does come very often."

"Hn."

"Since you are away, you don't know the things that's been happening here." Kakashi leans on the door and open his book. "I caught her reading my previous volumes of Icha Icha Paradise." He flipped another page, looking totally absorbed on what he is reading.

"If you haven't been reading that, she may not even know that 'that' thing exist."

"Probably. Hey—don't you like to read it too?" he smiled to Sasuke and waited for a response.

"Shut up and stop reading that perverted book already!."

"Hai!" then he flipped another page, ignoring Sasuke.

It's forty-five minutes after twelve in the afternoon. So far Konoha and the people in it are safe. So far it isn't in shambles like the broken glasses that was stepped upon earlier.

* * *

**Author's note:** is it really that confusing? Well then let me put some daylights in your mind. . .

First, the whole original series happened (although it is not yet finished. I just assumed some things that happened.) Let's just say that the whole Orochimaru ordeal happened, and that Sasuke leave. But in this fic Sasuke came back (I won't go on detailed on this part) and after some years he left again to search for his brother.

Now, Sasuke was gone five years away from Konoha, and Sakura followed him, met Itachi blah-blah and the story goes on.

I hope my explanation helps. Thanks to all for being supportive… and oh! To the reader who said my story is getting somewhat erratic—erm—is that a good or bad thing? I'm guessing it is a bad thing…

Thanks for all the reviews! Ja matta ne! I think the next chapie would be about Kakashi or maybe just half of it.I'm going to rest for now since i have a cold today, my body is all stressed up with all the school work, family etc.... but the next chapter is almost done, that is-- if i don't delete it. hehe. Leave any comments you would like.

Also if you want to join the staff of the C2 community i made, please email me. go on my bio to get a view of the community. its pretty empty for now. I'm still learning how to manage it. I already place some stories there from those who reviewed before. The community is about any pairings but with Sakura as the main girl. I just thought that it'll be easier to recruit members to those who i know likes Sakura.


	8. She will be loved

This is the team he had made.

_One fox boy kneeling motionlessly on the ground, his own blood mixing with the mud._

This is team seven.

_A brooding boy hiding his beautiful face with his own hands tainted with fresh blood._

Aren't you happy to see them?

_Then a lady with a kunai in hand, its color was now scarlet red like the dress she's been wearing. _

Isn't it time for training now?

_And then a man wearing his mask, eyes wide open looking at the scene displayed before him._

You're late again.

_"Wha--"_

_"Don't ask, sensei." Her green eyes were on fire. "Don't ask."_

You already know too much anyway.

_"I do feel that I have all the right to know." He retorted, giving her an equal glare, a fiery glare._

Your hands.

_"Sensei--" she saw his jaw locked and try to continue talking, despite the coolness of the air, despite the blood gushing out of their body._

Your eyes.

_"Tell me one thing." She bit her lip and looks at her sensei with sadness and confusion._

Your body.

_"To what extent would you go to save us?" he didn't blink his eyes, didn't tear his sight off her. "--what are you willing to do to make us get out of hell?" _

They already know too much.

_"Anything." He said. She smiles at him, an eerie smile. _

Anything for my favorite kunoichi student.

_"Anything. . ." he repeated his voice making the other two jolt their heads._

_"Then save us."_

This is team seven.

_His fingers trails the linings of his mask, and removed it. _

_"How?"_

This is the team you had made. Aren't you proud of them? This is team seven now. Too bad they couldn't stay being twelve years old, too bad they learn to disobey you, too bad they become so much like you, too bad they're all in hell now . . ._ waiting for you. _

_It's teamwork._

"A ninja should see the underneath of the underneath right?" he didn't like the tone of her voice. She smiled again that same uncanny smile. "We don't need to see that anymore because we're in there now . . . underneath the underneath. Aren't you happy? Sensei?"

****

**"Tadaima"**

by: ethereal-moonrain

**Chapter 7: Heroes cry**

I don't mind spending everyday

Out on your corner in the pouring rain

Look for the girl with a broken smile

Ask her if she wants to stay awhile

And She will be loved.

And She will be loved . . .

* * *

"Wait! Wait! Wait! I fully understand why Sakura-chan is not included on this mission. BUT why do I have to be out of it too?"

"Because you're a dobe, that's why." Sasuke muttered not actually intending to have Naruto hear it.

"What did you just say!?"

"Don't start both of you!" Tsunade sighed shaking her head. "Naruto, there's something else I would want you to do alright!? Just let Sasuke and Kakashi take this mission."

"You mean I have a super mission to do!? Yay! Yay! Oba-san you're so cool!"

"Stop calling me oba-san!" Tsunade retorted as Naruto keep on jumping, with an annoyed Uchiha beside him.

"So what's my mission? Tell me! Tell me!"

"Don't get too exited Naruto . . . Well actually it's not an ordinary mission. So proceed with extra caution." The fifth hokage stared at Naruto for a while and handed him a piece of envelope.

"Tomorrow, at exactly 6 a.m. go to the tower at the center of the Forest of death. There'll be people waiting for you there. Don't bring anything except this letter, even a single kunai, scroll or anything unnecessary is not allowed."

"Whaaat!? You mean I'll just deliver this and that's all!? I thought . . . I thought . . .!"

"Just do it Naruto! You're dismissed."

"Bah! Fine!" Naruto dejectedly put his hands on his pocket leading his slump form outside the room.

"Kakashi, Sasuke you have to weeks before your mission, I assumed that both of you already attend the briefing this morning." Both men nodded watching Tsunade stood from her seat towards the window overlooking the village. "Well, that's it for now . . .Uchiha stay a minute longer, I have other things to say."

"Guess I'll be going. Ja!" Kakashi smiled behind his mask and disappeared with a puff.

"I'll just remind you about tomorrow, you're still going to do it right?"

"Aa. . . I don't have other choice anyway." Tsunade wearsa sad smile on her lips and faced the Uchiha. "I guess your partner for tomorrow has arrived."

"Hn." There was a soft knock on the door before it opens up. "I'm glad you made it Sakura-san."

"Gomen, Hokage-sama" The fifth hokage waved her right hand and walked over the two shinobi. "You're both sure about tomorrow?"

"Hai. . ." both responded not looking at each other.

"All right then."

* * *

_It was raining again._

_Loud drops contaminating the slow murmurs of the beeping machine, drawing thin lines on the monitor. _

_It was just few days ago, he was hearing this same rhythm repeatedly on his mind onto the point of memorizing it. _

_Now it had come back to him again thrice louder now._

_"Sensei?" the kunoichi manages to speak in a rasp voice. "Don't push yourself too much Sakura" she did seem to take it well, resting her eyes once again._

_"You three are in a lot of trouble." Kakashi whispered in a soft tone, almost drowning into the pool of sound chasing lines. He actually pities them. He couldn't deny his wish for them to have a different life. _

_Lives where they don't have to walk halfway down their graves . . ._

_"I'm still your sensei. 100 laps for the three of you as soon as you recovered." _

_But he pitied his own self more. _

_He's almost there now right?_

_No—_

_He's in there now. Waiting for the earth to eat the whole of him._

_"I'm sorry." She manages to say. _

_I'm sorry too . . . _

_"We're all sorry." The Uchiha added, not minding if his voice was drowned into nothing._

_Kakashi seated on the windowsill. It was raining hard today. _

This is the team he had made.

_One fox boy kneeling motionlessly on the ground, his own blood mixing with the mud._

This is team seven.

_A brooding boy hiding his beautiful face with his own hands tainted with fresh blood._

Aren't you happy to see them?

_Then a lady with a kunai in hand, its color was now scarlet red like the dress she's been wearing. _

Isn't it time for training now?

_And then a man wearing his mask, eyes wide open looking at the scene displayed before him._

You're late again.

_"Wha--"_

_"Don't ask, sensei." Her green eyes were on fire. "Don't ask."_

You already know too much anyway.

_"I do feel that I have all the right to know." He retorted, giving her an equal glare, a fiery glare._

Your hands.

_"Sensei--" she saw his jaw locked and try to continue talking, despite the coolness of the air, despite the blood gushing out of their body._

Your eyes.

_"Tell me one thing." She bit her lip and looks at her sensei with sadness and confusion._

Your body.

_"To what extent would you go to save us?" he didn't blink his eyes, didn't tear his sight off her. "--what are you willing to do to make us get out of hell?" _

They already know too much.

_"Anything." He said. She smiles at him, an eerie smile. _

Anything for my favorite kunoichi student.

_"Anything. . ." he repeated his voice making the other two jolt their heads._

_"Then save us."_

This is team seven.

_His fingers trails the linings of his mask, and removed it. _

_"How?"_

This is the team you had made. Aren't you proud of them? This is team seven now. Too bad they couldn't stay being twelve years old, too bad they learn to disobey you, too bad they become so much like you, too bad they're all in hell now . . ._ waiting for you. _

_It's teamwork._

"A ninja should see the underneath of the underneath right?" he didn't like the tone of her voice. She smiled again that same uncanny smile. "We don't need to see that anymore because we're in there now . . . underneath the underneath. Aren't you happy? Sensei?"

* * *

The sun was high already, making the panting kunoichi more annoyed than she already is.

"Damn it! I'm getting old . . . how come Naruto and Sasuke finished 90 laps already? I'm not even reaching 50 laps yet!"

"Just focus on what you're doing Sakura." Kakashi said, his handy book plopped open. "That helps, idiot!" the pink haired kunoichi rolled her green eyes growing more infuriated with her sensei.

"Aa—want me to add some bonus of 100 push-ups?" Sakura gritted her teeth thinking of anything possible to eliminate her sensei out of her world.

"By the way Sakura---meet me tonight on the red bridge at 7." Kakashi simply said, walking away with his Paradise book on hand. "Why do I have--"

"I'll be waiting there, whether you come or not." In a puff he disappear.

"Hn? If I'm correct this is the fourth time I've pass through you. Are you really running Sakura?"

"Don't insult me, I'm doing all I can I here."

"Hn."

"What?"

"You had only done 48 laps."

"So? Just finish your task Sasuke, I could handle my own."

"Kakashi and I have a mission tomorrow morning. At your rate, we'll be off in our mission and you're not even done yet." Sakura narrowed her eyes and was about to say something, but somehow it melted into a dejected sigh.

"Rest."

"What?"

"I said just rest. Kakashi won't mind if you do."

"Listen here, I could do this, I'm a shinobi too so don't look down on me." With that Sakura ran off, trying to finish the other 62 laps."

* * *

_This may never start _

_We could fall apart _

_And I'd be your memory _

_Lost your sense of fear _

_Feelings insincere _

_Can I be your memory?_

"Hn? You have 10 more laps to go." "I know." "So what are you doing here?" Sasuke asked, while his eyes were close and his back leans on the old tree. "Tsunade-sama told me about your mission, I was part of the tactic group. I--"

_It was said that a shinobi who dies in battle—_

**_"Sasuke-kun. . ."_**

_Would be having their name inscribed on that stone . . . _

****

**_"No matter what"_**

_Would have the whole village call them a hero._

****

**_"Don't be a hero"_** He narrowed his eyes on her. And the fading moon witness how gentle did he put his lips into hers. And how she helplessly responds to his touches.

_This may never start _

_I'll tear us apart _

_Can I be your enemy? _

_Losing half a year _

_Waiting for you here _

_I'd be your anything_

Can I be your memory?

On the other side of the moon, a man with his mask on was looking into the sky. Asking if the heavens have mercy . . .

* * *

"You're not doing it right Aiko! Come on try it once again." Ino instructed. It has been awhile since she makes herself useful these days. She prefers to teach Sakura's daughter some jutsu, for all she knows deep inside her was dreaming to be a mother. Though Sakura is scared of Ino teaching her daughter some of her jutsu, because the last time she taught Aiko, they ended up having two genin switched bodies accidentally.

Frankly speaking, she had grown jealous of Sakura despite the fact that the girl is miserably unstable of her feelings and emotions. She was actually jealous of the girl for having her voice heard by many. Funny to think about it, she was the one who gave her that voice. "But its almost 1 a.m. already!" Ino sighed and put a hand on Aiko''s head. "Just another try okay?" the girl nodded and positioned herself once more.

**_"Shintenshin no Jutsu!"_**

* * *

Her body was frigid, and unmoving. Waiting hopelessly for the warmth to come back. It was stupid to wait, it was stupid to hope, and she's stupid, stupid, stupid. Her eyes narrowed on the open sky, trying to remember when did it started to rain.

_"I'll be waiting there, whether you come or not."_

His words made her eyes open. Despite her effort of deleting the existence of those words, it has stubbornly come back to her. He couldn't possibly wait until now; seven hours had already passed since their original meeting time. Of course he already left! But there was this nagging feeling inside her, hoping somehow. She kept on collecting any other reasons not to go. But somehow her feet were not agreeing.

_I wanted to say 'sorry' at least._

She pulled away from her position and started walking. Never minding the cold droplets kissing her skin. Its not like she's expecting him to be there still. She wished that somehow he hasn't waited, that he didn't even thought of coming. But really she would disappointed if he weren't there. Her thoughts were lingering on her head like a balloon as her feet takes her to the bridge.

What does he want anyway? Hell, she's just going there even she know he wouldn't be there. She's just going to clear her conscience. That's it, a good plausible reason. She continued walking, her feet were actually freezing and she decided to fasten up her pace. She was actually near, just a little more and she'll be seeing his waiting outline. A little more. Closer--

**_"Shintenshin-no-Jutsu!" _**

She felt something different and she didn't mind. Continuing to run much faster. Every step she takes seems to be getting smaller. She stopped, placing her hands on her knees, panting. Her vision has started to create white spots and slowly, ever so slowly her world tumbles. She knew something hit her. The puddle of water, proved something is wrong. It was horrible. She refuses to look again. But then she had to, and when she did, two round green eyes stare back, with chubby cheeks.

Who was she?

_Trouble._

It was no doubt, her reflection, right?

* * *

_Because---_

Blinking, Sakura felt her body pains had already left. The evening sky almost disappears with the blur of rain falling. She took a moment to think and realized she's been lying into someone's lap.

_I don't mind._

"I see you're finally awake." The gentle voice said. "Are you lost little girl?"

_Spending everyday—_

_Wait a sec. Little girl? _Sakura helplessly questioned herself. She then realized her situation. _Why did she transform like this?_

_--Out on your corner in the pouring rain._

"Little girls like you should be home at this time" She now realized the voice was coming from Kakashi. So he did waited. No—he was probably on the way to somewhere. "—or are you waiting for somebody too?" he asked smiling.

_Look for the girl with a broken smile._

Timidly, Sakura nodded and bit her lower lip. "Aa—I see. You shouldn't have. Its not good for you." He lectured.

_Ask her if she wants to stay awhile._

"Why--?" she tried to practice her voice, it was childish and unclear.

_And she will be loved._

"Hm?" he inquired, putting a hand on her head as she sat on his lap. "W-who are you waiting f-for?" Kakashi laughed and ruffled the girl's hair.

_And she will be loved._

"Someone—a girl to be exact. I've been waiting like—8 hours. She's kinda late but I'm always late" Kakashi laughed and messed the girls hair once again.

_She will be loved._

Kinda late? Hell! Its 8 hours already!

_Please—_

"Oh--" she bit her lip again. "W-why are you still w-waiting for her then?" This time Kakashi turns serious and look up into the open sky. From the outline of his mask, she knew he was smiling.

_--don't try so hard—_

"I knew she'd eventually come."

**_--to say goodbye--_**

* * *

**Author's notes: **It's been awhile since I updated. And I'm hungry for your reviews. I don't know if people will like this chapter or this whole fic. We're moving on a moderate pace.

I might as well say that this fic is for the faithful sasusaku lovers. Hehe I hope you don't mind if I put a 'little' kakasaku in there. I just can't help it coz me loves Kakashi!

Anyways, the next update might not be a 'real chapter'. It's a part of the story, but it's more of a flashback. Expect a lot of angst on the next update. I think this chapter has a lesser 'angsty-ness' eh?

Please leave a review!

Ja matta ne!

Kiren-sama aka ethereal-moonrain


	9. A love that never was

Do you know how hard it is to breathe when it is not oxygen that you need?

_When it is something so forbidden._

_It didn't just hurt your lungs._

_It kills you. Slowly. Painfully._

_It attacks you from inside out. _

_It hurts. It hurts me to see you cry._

_It hurts me to see you bleed, bleed to provide reason to your mind that you are alive._

_It hurts to feel you not there._

_It hurts more to see you beside me._

_And felt nothing_

_**

* * *

**_

_**Tadaima **_

By: ethereal-moonrain

Chapter 8: A love that never was _I know your dreams_

_  
I know your cries_

_  
Each breath I've memorised_

_  
And I would do anything _

_To help you win your fight _

_But it's not enough _

_To make you smile _

_It's never enough _

_But what more can I give?_

_I see the searching in your eyes _

_And I feel helpless by your side _

_So many spaces I can't fill _

_But God knows how hard I've tried _

_You say you need more _

_And I die inside _

_You always need more _

_But what more can I give?_

* * *

_Does it hurts to die?_

"—lost a lot of blood."

Sasuke-kun. . .

"Get Tsunade-sama-"

He's always been there.

"—heart rate dropping-"

And she does not care.

"—she going flat!"

-Does not care at all.

"—we're losing her!"

_How he died before her_

"—don't lose-"

How much he loves her.

A flat.

She witnesses blurring white lights, hovering in the midst of darkness. The sound was painful to her ears; the loud straight beeping sound. Its pitiful seeing her like this. Hand flopped down, shadows covering her vision.

Then a cry, drowning the beeping machine into nothingness. It's another world outside the white colored walls. His weary eye looks dry. His mask covering the thin line of his lips. He looks much pitiful than her dying state.

* * *

"Stay" She sat up, rubbing the dust from her eyes. She was a distance away from her body, mind floating into oceans of dizziness. She put aside the blanket and notices her stomach. "You've just gone into labor, your not allowed to leave or to even get out of that bed."

"Its been three days already Kakashi" His lecture irritated her. She bit down her lips and took a side-glance to him. There he was sitting on the windowsill, enjoying torturing her this way. Sadistic. That's what she thought. He was too sadistic to keep her caged in this hospital room. But then maybe, if he hadn't been for him, she could have given birth to her daughter alone on an abandoned house.

She was not yet over the shame of being seen by her former sensei like this. She wanted to cover herself up into millions of blankets the time he had looked at her with an oversize belly. Her parents were there; maybe they were horrified to see their daughter pregnant.

"How long has it been? Hm?" he asked not really expecting an answer. She looked away from him. It's been like a year since she left to follow that Uchiha. He sighed when he was sure that she would not answer.

"Hmm-" he looked far across the window and sighed. "I told you not to get out of that bed." His voice was calm but commanding. But she was stubborn and his words were drowned into nothing. She stood beside him on the window curious to what he was looking at.

"Go back to bed." He looks at his side to see her pouting. He narrowed his eyes and studied her face a little longer. Never before had he been aware of the moon. How its light tangled up with her hair, how it painted her skin in silver.

"What are you looking at?" She asked, gracelessly walking onto her hospital bed once again. She pulled something under her bed and tried to busy herself with the object.

"What are you doing with my book?" Kakashi inquired as he eyed the red book she's been holding. "Reading-"

"I thought you hate that book."

"Hm—you like reading this eh?"

He shook his head and sit beside her bed. "Your weird." He said, snatching the book from her. She lowered her face, shadowing her every feature with her pastel pink hair that caught the dim light of the lamp. "I only read a chapter or two." She paused and looks at him on his eye. "I didn't understand everything, its quite—disturbing." He laughed at her comment and ruffled her hair with his hands.

"Do you think I'm crazy?" she asked.

He was tempted to say yes to get some smile out of her. But he didn't. "No-" he sighed. "Reckless, maybe-" She closed her eyes in a long blink. "Do you think…" Her voice faded and went pale, "do you think I've been horrible?"

_Horrible—horrible are the nights when you were gone after him. _

"No-"

_Those when you're miles away._

"Do I—irritate you?"

The cold walls

"No-"

Your lifeless breathing.

"I—I'm going to fix everything. I promise you that—that I would not be selfish anymore."

Your voice calling out for him.

"There's nothing to fix." She shook her head violently in response and places her hand onto his chest, her index finger tracing the imaginary scar behind his clothes.

But the most of it hurts—

"Just focus on getting better. It's only a scar now. It didn't hurt that much, I have other more serious wounds than this"

-having you beside me—

She exhaled a tumbling sigh. And then, sudden as anything, she raised her head and flashed a warm smile at him, mouth shut and eyes gleaming. For an instant she looked like a child. "I'm going to sleep." She took his hands first and squeezes it before burying herself on the blankets. "Leave for awhile and get yourself some rest too okay?"

And felt emptier . . .

"'Night sensei." She added and buried herself much deeper on her blankets, where he knew she would cry herself back to sleep.

* * *

The sun didn't come up that morning.

And the people wouldn't notice it was evening. The sky was charcoal-black, and the stars had lost their way together with the moon.

For the moment, their skin had no natural hues with which to show. They were the freckles of city light, a gradient of dawn and the ever-fleeting evening.

Her hair was soft and tickles his chin, like feathers sticking out from a pillow that had been slept against and warmed by human closeness. She moved only a little, and he closed his eyes for a long second to make it a memory, for the rest of his life to still have this inside of him.

It was a secret to the world that is still dreaming illusions or nightmares. Only for this moment could they be one.

Her voice was like whimpers. Her words and action didn't mix. He looks exactly like his younger brother. And she was left helpless, with no other choice but to succumb into deceitful bliss . . .

**Make it last for an hour**

"We should stop this"

**We'll never feel this way again**

"Then stop."

**Make it all that you want and everything that I need**

"—not him"

**Make it last, make it last**

"—stop it then"

**'cause you're not making me any promises**

"I don't love you."

**Make it last**

"—don't care at all-"

**Make the best of what you see**

Like anything on this world, that moment didn't last. –Could only be repeated endlessly on their mind.

And she's too far—

She was crying hard. He's been so cold-hearted, a murderer of his own clan. But failed to be unaware of those tears. He was annoyed of her soft whimpers.

What is she crying for?

-He's not you—

He knew it damn well. He wanted to say something at least, just to perish the silence torturing both of them. But he could think of nothing to say, so he only closed his eyes, listening to each sob. One by one, until they slowed down, and died. . .

**

* * *

**

**Author's note: **Like I told you from the previous chapter, the next installment would be full of angst, and that it would be like "off-the-story" Well it is part of the story but its purely flashbacks.

I hope you understand the sequence of this chapter. I made this chapter to keep you guys occupied while I'm still thinking of the next one;

Oh! And to answer zero25's question, yes Sakura did turn into a little girl.

Thanks to all of my reviewers! You keep this story going! RnR peeps! I'm always happy to receive long reviews, so don't be shy! hehe


	10. the ghost of you

_I had kept my dreams_

_I had kept my tears._

_I had kept myself away from the world._

_These dreams that I have, these dreams—_

_Of seeing you—_

_---After long years of being with you._

_My only wish for now is to see you . . ._

His body lay in a small bed. Unfocused eyes roamed around the circles of white sea. One of his eyes, those red orbs trying to do its task again but failed. The other eye, black as the night already surrender to its fate. He tried to laugh to wash away the pain piercing through his body. He was reckless.

_**He lifted his right hand, trying to figure out what is wrong with him. He laughed again and some tears had successfully escaped his eyes…**_

_**Those blind eyes.**_

* * *

Tadaima

By: ethereal-moonrain

**Chapter 9: The Ghost of you**

_I never said I'd lie and wait forever_

_If I died we'd be together now_

_  
I can't always just forget her but she could try_

_  
At the end of the world_

_  
Or the last thing I see_

_  
You are_

_  
Never coming home_

_  
Never coming home_

_Could I? Should I?_

_And all the things that you never ever told me_

_And all the smiles that are never ever_

_Ever get the feeling that you're never_

_All alone and i remember now_

_At the top of my lungs in my arms she dies_

_She dies._

* * *

There is grieving in the air. The cold drops of rain dissolved the thick red color of blood onto the dried leaves. She stepped on it and it pours. Slowly its salty taste came down.

Her tears pour.

"Autumn has come." His scent was appealing. He pulled a kunai that was pinned on the ground. "They're still searching for him" he added. It wasn't the gloomy atmosphere that made him talk like this. He would never talk when not needed.

"He'd be fine. He's Kakashi, one of Konoha's finest ninja." He added more as if he'd be able to put back all the tears she had cried.

"Sasuke-kun---what really happened to both of you back on that mission?" she finally opened her mouth and stood. "He had been reckless from the start, and nobody really know what happen to him. He simply just---disappear."

He looked at Sakura's eyes and knows she was begging for something more for him to say. "Before we were ambushed by the enemy he kept on telling me things."

-------------------------------------------------

The night was deep. And his eyes know what is about to happen to him. He pulled down his mask and look at his companion.

"**_You take care of her this time."_**

_**Sasuke looked at the man beside him. "What?"**_

"**_I said, you'd be the one to protect her once I'm gone." The Uchiha gave Kakashi an equal stare. "Comfort her and give her enough reason why I'm suppose to be gone from her world." He added._**

"**_Don't tell me what to do"_**

"**_You need to be free Sasuke" _**

_**The sky poured.**_

* * *

The sounds of their footsteps echoed through the almost empty hall of the Hokage's office. They paused for a while and knocked at the door. With a soft voice from inside says, "come in", Sasuke opened the door motioning Sakura to get in first. They entered the room and saw Tsunade on her chair as if expecting both of them.

"So. . . you haven't found Kakashi yet, am I right?" Tsunade started. She scans the papers inside the folder she's been holding. Then paused to look at Sasuke.

"Do you think he's dead?" Tsunade asked.

Sasuke shook his head and furrowed his eyebrows. "I'm not really sure, but at the very beginning of that mission he's been totally spaced out and seemed to have known that something's going to happened to him."

Tsunade ushered him to continue. "Why do you say so?"

"We had a small conversation while were at the mission before we got ambushed by the enemy. He kept on saying things --- about him being gone."

Tsunade nodded and stood from her chair, and turned her back from the two. She stares at the window over-looking the village. "It seems that he get himself into trouble on purpose." Sasuke added.

"But why would Kakashi-sensei do something like that!?" Sakura burst out, looking at Sasuke as if she wants him to tell her that this is all a lie, and that Kakashi would be back. But Sasuke remained silent and lowered his head.

"You--- you think he's--- dead?" Sakura continued her eyes teary and her legs wobble slightly. But Sasuke kept quiet and so as Tsunade.

"Answer me!" she shouted and put her hands on Sasuke's shoulder to make him look at her direction.

"He fall off the cliff, and it was raining hard that night, the current of the river below and so is our enemies prevented us from saving him." He finally answered.

"Then he probably survived still! Kakashi-sensei is strong an he cou--"

"Sakura! Enough of that! It's been a week, and not even his body is found." Tsunade stopped Sakura and walked up to her.

"Both of you should leave now. The inauguration for the new Hokage would be held tomorrow." Tsunade said motioning for them to leave.

"Why leave your title all of a sudden?" Sakura asked.

"I already told you to stop asking me." Tsunade retorted. "Now both of you leave."

"It's for Konoha. This country should be led by someone with stronger willpower than me, someone much capable of being selfless." She continued.

"So that's why you made us fought Naruto before. Kakashi got mad at us that time." Sasuke interjected. Tsunade nods "It was a test for me to know if my decision is right."

"And I guessed Naruto passed your so-called test?" Sasuke inquired

"Yes."

"And what are you going after Naruto become the Hokage?" Sakura asked eagerly. "Just don't ask too much Sakura. I'll just wander around somewhere. Being a Hokage is not for me anymore."

"That's not really a good answer." Sakura retorted.

"Just leave and please Sakura--- just rest your mind first, besides you haven't fully recovered. Sasuke accompany her for the time being." Tsunade said.

"I know what to do with myself"

"Sakura, at this moment I am still the Hokage, so I command you to leave."

Sakura sighed finally give up from any further conversation. And went out the room with Sasuke following behind.

-----------------------------

(…flashback…)

"_W-who are you waiting f-for?" Kakashi laughed and ruffled the little girl's hair._

"_Someone—a girl to be exact. I've been waiting like—8 hours. She's kinda late but I'm always late" Kakashi laughed and messed the young girl's hair once again._

_Hell! Its 8 hours already!_

"_Oh--" she bit her lip again. "W-why are you still w-waiting for her then?" This time Kakashi turns serious and look up into the open sky. From the outline of his mask, she knew he was smiling._

"_I knew she'd eventually come." He was still smiling towards the sky. "Thanks for coming Sakura. . ."_

_She bolted her head and look fiercely on Kakashi. "So you knew it was me?" She gained yet another batch of laughter from Kakashi._

"_Silly! Of course I knew! Who's the only girl with pink hair around here? Well at first I thought you were Aiko but then--" he cut his sentence and looked at her eyes, removing his head protector blocking his sharingan eye._

"_You're my favorite kunoichi student. . ."_

_Her lips turned to a smile, but a bittersweet smile. And for a quick moment there was puff of smoke, and as the wind blew away the mist there she was, on her original body state. _

"_Oh! I'm so sorry I must be heavy!" Sakura exclaimed blushing, as she quickly stood, noticing that she was still sitting on Kakashi's lap and that she was no longer in a little girl's body. _

"_You could stay as long as you want." Kakashi stood also, embracing Sakura, her back facing him. "Kakashi-sensei…"_

_He sighed and let go of her. "Tsunade was the one who ordered both you and Sasuke to battle Naruto am I right?" _

_She nodded and sits down on the bench. "Well yes, it was an order from the Hokage. I don't really understand why she made us do that." Sakura said._

'_She's really going to pass Naruto her title huh?' Kakashi said to himself._

"_It was an order from the Hokage and still you punish us three!" Sakura pouted and watch the sky as it already stops raining and that the heavy clouds were slowly moving away._

"_You three are a team. I just don't like the idea of fighting your own teammate." _

_Kakashi remember the scene he had just saw. It was kind of late when he got what Tsunade was up to. _

_The three of them covered in their blood. Naruto coughing blood furiously mixing with the mud. And Sasuke's beautiful face that was tainted with red. And Sakura—it's as if the blood was her own dress. _

_He shook his head and another memory comes in. That question, or more like a plea coming from his student, more like former student. 'Save us'._

_He sighed and looks at Sakura who was simply watching as few stars came hanging from the velvety sky. "Ne—Kakashi you still have it?" she suddenly spoke cutting the 'sensei' part of his name._

"_Have what?" he asked, he noticed her choice of words. He knows what's on her mind when she cuts the 'sensei' part of his name. _

"_The bracelet I gave you."_

"_Oh—yes. I'm still wearing it now." He raises his hand a bit and revealed his wrist with a lace band with beads, and each bead were carved by his name 'K-A-K-A-S-H-I'_

"_Good."_

"_You made me sound like a dog." Kakashi tried to spill a joke but she didn't budge so he turned serious again._

"_You know Sakura--" how he loves to say her name, but there was always a pain afterwards, like an aftertaste. "This is more than enough." He pointed the bracelet in his wrist._

_Sakura eyed him. "That bracelet is useless, it does not really matched how I wanted to thank you—for everything." She said._

"_I said—this is more than enough. And for coming here--- it's really more than enough Sakura"_

"_But still--!" she was about to retort yet again but Kakashi's finger cut her sentence off._

"_Besides—I know I could never have 'that' something I really wanted." He explained, removing his finger on her lips. "I know that your heart could only be for that – person. And that person could never be me." _

_There was silence._

"_Don't you know? It had made want to cry." Kakashi started waking Sakura from her reverie and stares at Kakashi in wonder._

"_I'll still help both of you make it through--" he continued. "You and Sasuke" Now Sakura knew what his saying. _

"_Don't --- say anything more." Sakura whispered not really wanting to hear the next words he was about to say, words she knew he would say._

"_Even by saying goodbye." He still goes on. _

"_I said I don't want to hear those! So stop!" she retorted._

"_. . . the two of us just a memory . . ."_

_---------------------------------_

"Naruto-kun" eyes cast down, it's been everyday that this hospital room was filled with fruits and sometimes flowers.

"Ne--- Hinata-san thank you." Naruto curtly said making Hinata blush even more as she already was.

"I—I--hope you're f-feeling much better today. Tomorrow would be y-your inauguration." Naruto smiled at her, a grateful smile.

"ARIGATOU! Hinata-san!" He removed the white blanket covering his half body. "The medical team always fusses over simple things. I was feeling better the moment I went here! Haha!" Hinata nodded and blush even more.

"Neee--- Hinata-san."

"Y-yes Naruto-kun?" He snatched her hand that kept on fidgeting on her dress.

"You'll come tomorrow right?"

"O-of course! I-I'll go." He smiled even wider. "Why do you always stutter Hinata-san? Am I making you nervous?" Naruto inquired innocently.

"I-I. . ." She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She couldn't contain the blush on her face as he was still holding her hand. "I-it's not that I-I'm n-nervous b-but I just! I-I just!"

Naruto rubbed his chin letting go of Hinata's hand. "I just don't know what to say." She continued managing to straightened her last words.

Naruto laughed and scratches his head. "You know you should try speaking out what you have inside. Let people hear your voice!"

She looked at him her cheeks still going redder. "If you can't really get out of that shy shell you have then you could do it slowly." He paused and grinned at her.

"You could start by ME!" He exclaimed, gaining an "o" from Hinata. "You could say anything you want! Start from talking with me! And slowly you'll find it more easier to talk to others!" He grinned even more.

"O-ok—o—kay!" She nodded. Then Naruto raised both his hand still sitting on the hospital bed. "You're still stuttering! Try this!" He stood on top of the bed both his hands in the air.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!! I LOVE RAMEEEEEEN! MY DREAM IS TO BECOME A HOKAGE AND TOMORROW I'LL BE ONE!" He smiled again looking at her. She blinked two times and blushed even more. "Try it!" Naruto explained, pulling Hinata's hand and now she was standing like a scared duck on top of the bed with him. "Try it" he said again.

"waa--- I—I." She cast her face down and was frozen on her spot. Naruto scratches his head.

Then a nurse suddenly opened the door shocked that the two are on top of the bed.

"Oh my God! What are you both doing there! Naruto-san please go back to bed! And oh! Please don't shout, there are other patients here!" the nurse lectured. And both Hinata and Naruto followed sheepishly.

After the nurse left, Naruto turned to Hinata and whispered "hehe let's continue it next time on some other place ne?" she nodded in response.

"I love hearing Hinata-san's voice, so don't worry, you could babble anything to me" He said so proud of himself and Hinata's face couldn't get any more redder than it was.

"Hai! Thank you, Naruto-kun!" He smiled.

"There! Now you're improving!" she joined him from his laughter and Naruto started babbling again.

-----------------------------------

Sunny days had come. And the afternoon breeze came in from the half opened window. The small ball-like chime dances and prances it's way in the company of the wind.

"You haven't eaten your breakfast still." The lady approached the man on his bed. Half of his faces were in bandage and so is his body. He tilted his head in her direction and opened his eyes; his silver hair kept on waving softly.

"So are you." He mutters.

"How can you say so?" the lady replied, her fingers delicately tucked the excess hair behind her ears. She was lovely, although she was a bit thin and her skin was almost pale, she had long black hair and has a very feminine air within her but most of all it was her eyes, it made him remember of something, or rather someone. He does not know, whether he had seen those eyes in his dreams or just a figment of his imagination.

"I could see you well up here. You haven't left that --- artwork of yours." He replied pointing the empty stool outside the window with an unfinished painting placed on its stand.

"Oh! I get carried away sometimes when I'm painting" a little tint of red crossed her cheeks. "C-could you try standing now? So we could eat lunch together downstairs?" she offered.

The silver haired man smiled and gave her a nod. "Hai—I do need to walk often to exercise my muscles." The wind blew again with the yellow curtain flapping like a wing of a bird.

The lady smiled in return. "Let's go then--- Kakashi" he narrowed his eyes to the lady in front of him.

"Did I said something wrong?" she questioned as she notice the change of his expression.

"No—but--- is that really my name?" he clutched his forehead. "Kakashi--" she said in almost a whisper.

"Well I just thought it would be your name when I saw your bracelet." She said. "Besides--- that's better than calling you nothing right?" she continued.

He nodded and run his fingers to the beaded bracelet he wore. Each bead was carved with a letter. K-A-K-A-S-H-I.

--------------------------------------

**Author's Note:** Hey guys! I'm finally back! Hell yeah! I thought I would never update this anymore but hehe I just couldn't put it down.

Anyway I hope you'll like this chapter although it was a bit ergh—I dunno hehe…

I know lots of you are confuse especially with the previous chapters, Coz most of it are flashbacks, either from the anime or from things I just created…. Hehe but I think you'll get it anyway…

READ AND REVIEW PLEASE!!!


	11. I hate the rain

Love. . .

_Life--_

_And its twisted way of revenge._

_Your own sweet suicide…_

She had cried for him a million times.

Waited years to come.

Entrusting a wish on a shooting star.

They did all they can.

"_A promise of a lifetime"_ he said with a goofy smile_. "I'll bring Sasuke back!"_

And her tears. They fall gently. Until one day they dried—

He. The almighty Uchiha Sasuke, the avenger, the traitor. It was a battle they had made themselves.

A war raging between the three, no-- four of them.

Team seven.

He lunged his sword filled with his own chidori nagashi. Too many dazzling lights, setting them apart.

While he, the fox boy crouched on his knees.

But, what sets them apart? Aside from those dazzling lights, those dirt and dried blood.

"_---this time, I'll save both of them."_ Her voice echoes as the sword comes nearer to Naruto.

What sets them apart? Between the darkness and light.

Amidst their breathes, the intensity and the fire, the wind and the lightning and the likes—

Finally the avenger's sword landed on flesh. Blood spurt out of it but it wasn't from him. No--- it wasn't Naruto's at all or the Kyuubi inside.

She smiles at him and a streak of blood manage to slip through her lips.

A single—thin line between the ying and the yang.

"—_hey Naruto—Sakura, you have to save her no matter what." _The sand inching closer. A tight grip on a blossom.

"_I had lost everything before. And I don't ever want to lose someone precious to me again."_ Their memories were mere memories.

They called him a traitor. Found himself on the bingo book. Accuse him to be evil like his brother.

And everyone forget how he cared. Everyone seems to forget what he had done. The things he'd do for his friends.

This is how team seven fought.

"So it had come to this huh?" she smiled and more blood spurred, on her legs, on his sword, on her hands.

She gripped the sword that was supposed to be aimed on her other teammate.

_It's how boys bond. It's probably that._

But, unfortunately she was a girl. And she doesn't give a damn to this.

He was trembling. He tried to pull his own sword and reversed every ounce of blood that came out of her.

The hit wasn't meant for her.

His sword would have never aimed to hurt her.

"Sasuke-kun." Her voice was hoarse, but this time he listens despite the barely audible sound passing through her lips, and the melodious tone it resounded before

"I'm proud of you. I—I'm happy you didn't really betray Konoha." She babbles. Perhaps she was on the effect of being halfway there towards death.

She was starting to heal her wound but stop amidst it,

She was at her limit now.

And she smiled again. Put something on her mouth.

And she nears him, the sword going deeper to her flesh as she did so.

She kissed him, letting him swallow the tablet on her mouth.

He made a weird sound but didn't set their lips apart. But finally she spoke.

"You didn't let that Orochimaru – you didn't--" she was to say more but he stopped her.

Her emerald eyes shone reflecting the wild heat of the sun. She was starting to see sparkles and white spots.

"That was—a medicine I made. I—I trained so hard just to have some worth." She coughed more blood. "To decrease the drug, that Kabuto was giving you these three years."

Her vision becomes more blurred.

The last thing she saw was his eyes. They weren't wearing those famous sharingan.

Only those black orbs she was so drowned into. Sometime between her lids and milliseconds before completely losing consciousness she saw a tint of sparkle in his eyes.

Could it be tears? She let herself succumb into unconsciousness and just left the thought.

Probably it was hope.

Sometime later they found themselves on their own hometown.

With nobody there left to say—

* * *

**Tadaima **

By: ethereal-moonrain

Chapter 11: I hate the rain

_I thought she'd be there holding daisies; _

_  
She always waits for me_

_  
She thinks she missed the train to mars, _

She's out back counting stars

She's not at work; she's not at school.

_  
She's not in bed, I think I finally broke her._

_  
I bring her home everything I want, _

_  
Nothing that she needs._

_  
I thought she'd be there holding daises,_

She always waits for me.

* * *

"It's been weeks since we arrived huh?" he said. Cerulean eyes staring off the wooden ceiling. "Yeah—this time—this time he was with us—Sasuke…" her voice drifted off the shadows of growing anxiety.

There was a pause.

A period of silence.

"I like it this way--" Naruto interrupted the stillness of the room as he looked up to Sakura's face that was quietly seated on the sofa with his head resting on her thigh. _"Great view—like hills" _he added with a playful glint into his eyes.

"_And _what do you mean by that?" she nimbly inquired as she toyed with his blonde hair. _"That you were so flat before--_" he replied trying to muffle his laughter. _"Oh—is that so?" _she raise an eyebrow and quickly stood up leaving his poor head to hit the floor. He paused for a while thinking if it's a good idea to continue teasing her or shut the hell up and save his ass getting pummeled with her brutal strength

"Hey—is that how you treat your patient?" that time he stood as well rubbing his head as he faced her back. She walked towards the near full-body mirror and checked herself out.

"You going tonight?" she asked, ignoring Naruto's effort to piss her off. The blonde boy walked up to her his hands on his pockets.

"Off course! I always wanted to watch Sakura-chan rehearse that dance for the festival. Nishishishi" he laughed mischievously making Sakura smile. He always had this effect on people.

"Hey—Sakura-chan look at the time, we should be going now, ne?"

"Uhn!" she nodded. "I'm supposed to wear my ceremonial dress today." They went outside her small apartment; she was holding her umbrella on this gloomy day.

"Nishihi I still can't believe that Tsunade baa-chan was also chosen to perform in these kinds of festivals during her time."

Sakura shook her head to her friend's remark about her teacher and tugged his sleeves as she run off towards the red and white shrine. It had started to rain when they were halfway to their destination and caught themselves laughing as they passed through the gates of the said shrine.

"Sakura-san!" a woman called from the inside, stopping the two from laughing at themselves. "The elders had been waiting for you! Hurry and come on inside."

They went inside and saw two elderly women across the room. Sakura immediately bowed her head to greet them.

"Sorry for being late Reiko-sama, Chiharu-sama!" some of her pink locks matted on her cheeks.

"Ahh—let's not waste time shall we? Do try on that ceremonial dress already so we'll know if it'll fit you good." One of the old woman said eyeing the soaked girl disapprovingly.

"Hai!" the same girl who called Sakura outside ushered her to another room to get dressed up. "I'll go wait for you here." Naruto said tapping Sakura's shoulder as his other hand brushed through his wet hair.

She looked at Naruto's eyes wearily before going inside. There was something in his eyes she couldn't help but wonder what, it was like he was hiding something and it took her long enough to realize it.

"Well? Shouldn't you be changing now?" he urged her to go inside the room and smiled.

"Uhn!" she replied, closing the door.

* * *

She gulped, peeking outside the room. Her pink hair was tied up into two buns with a white and pink colored stick holding each bun into place. Both the stick had some short decorative line of flowers dangling into it.

It was amazing how her feature molted into the kimono she was wearing. It had only few and a simple decor on its edges but has a subtle and quite unique glow of pink that had probably added to its heavenly image.

She bit down her lower lip and inhaled a huge amount of air she could and breathe it all out. "I'm having heart attack right at this moment." She felt her pounding heart with her right fist as her left hand continues to fidget around the rims of her dress.

"So there you are! The ceremony would start soon what are you waiting for!?"

"Baaaaaaaaaaahhh!!!" Sakura yelled surprised at the newcomer. "You scared me there Ino!"

"Silly! Go out there now people are waiting!" Ino said pulling Sakura's trembling hands with her.

"Just give me a moment to regain myself ok?" Sakura pleaded, "Fine!"

Finally as she finally able to recomposed herself she gave a nod to Ino and smiled. They went outside to see the crowd that had gathered around the shrine.

It was a distinctive festival in Konoha, only done after every 5 years, during the first full moon of spring. It was an old tradition that had been able to live through the ages. On this occasion the elders of the village would have to choose a fitting lady to perform a dance.

It is to celebrate the mythical appearance of a young goddess long before the village was built, who was said to have crossed the sky one spring night searching for her man who had fallen from the sky after bitten by a treacherous snake and had lost his godly power. She traveled throughout the vast sky and had planted the moon on the velvety night sky hoping it'll help her to find her lover, or otherwise him founding her.

However, the moon she had planted seemed to fade away and so was she. And it is said that when the sun is about to come out she will disappear. The night goes and the wheel of time turned continuously without mercy and all she could possibly do is to cry herself out.

They say after the full moon disappears from the dark sky, her tears would pour out and it would seem like rain for the people under it.

Five years later she was said to come back again with the same intent, and her search was still in vain.

Yet she held out some hope that someday she might be able to found him. So people believed that after every five years she would come back and continue to search for her love.

And so they had built a shrine for her to somehow appease her loneliness and be grateful for the rain she had provided making a good harvest.

A young and vibrant lady who could stand out on the crowd, that was their description for the right girl to perform on this very night. And for this year they had chosen one of the Hokage's willful apprentices. Which on the majorities' idea had grown quite well to fit on those descriptions. Besides, some years ago the one who had been chosen was one of the Haruno clan.

"Okay—I guess this is it?" she took a final encouraging breath and proceeds at the middle of the crowd's eye. Her subtle movements mixing with the music played.

She ran liked the wind, twirls and flung her arms up high on rhythmic movements. Each instruments made a dazzling combination creating an absolute dreamy atmosphere.

With each step that she made, she made sure she had done accordingly to what they had told her to do so, leaving the people with awe on their faces.

She mingled well with the music and the pale moon reflecting on her face and slowly covered by a vast dark cloud, with that only the light lamps illuminate her for the crowd to see.

It gives off a splendid feeling and a mystical imagery to everyone who had been watching her. As the orange hues emanates from her peachy skin hovered by the lights of the lamps hanging onto the trees.

Her mind drifted off to somewhere else beyond the eyes of the crowd, beyond the immeasurable clouds covering the moon, beyond the deep blue color of the night sky—

She was circling around the crowd and other girls followed her, each dancing and prancing behind Sakura. Throwing off some petals of cherry blossoms around the place.

It was an enchanting view to behold. But her almost endless reverie caught up to her as she looked at the corner seeing Tsunade stood from her seat away from the crowd. Sakura eyed her sensei as she continued the ritual.

There was an ANBU that whispered to Tsunade and she narrowed her eyes trying to read the movement of Tsunade's lips.

With her trained eyes she had only manage to unravel some words.

And it had somehow resembles into:

'_Interrogation now—those annoying rain nins' _there was a person who crossed and for a moment she missed the next words but she creased her eyebrows and look closely again still not stopping from her dance.

'_the feudal lord wants--- punishment immediately?' _one of the other girl who was dancing along with her almost tripped when she stopped as she decipher the following words that came out from her sensei's lips that had made her abruptly stopped her movements and had finally known why she had been so eager to find out what Tsunade is conversing about---

'_--they want Sasuke dead' _and that was the last stroke, she had forgotten all about the ceremony and the questioning and surprise gaze the people were giving her.

She ran towards her sensei who was beginning to disappear into the crowd. She cursed under her breath and push aside some people in a hurry to make her way.

"Sakura-chan!" someone hollered behind her but she didn't even glance back for she know far too well who it was from. Another called out her name this time it was Shizune but it drowned to deaf ears and through the buzzing noise erupting from the crowd.

Sakura almost tripped as she had been jumping onto roofs to get to the prison ward faster, if only had she not put chakra on her feet would had cause her from falling.

She bit down her lip as pain shot through her body, she hadn't notice that it was raining, her feet was sore and the left bun of her hair was untangled the poor stick fell to some random street

The left side of her hair was a messed as the now loose strands of pink hair matted on her face, and her kimono was sweeping the muddy parts of the pavement.

Finally she arrived at the large gates of the prison ward and one of the guards in the station eyed her questioningly.

"Sakura-san? Is the ceremony over? What are you doing here?" he asked going out from his seated position inside the small guardhouse situated just beside the gigantic gates.

"Kotetsu-san I need to go inside please." He held out an umbrella for her but she was already soaked in the rain anyways.

"Sorry—can't do that, the rules here is now stricter you know?" he shook his head. "I need to go inside! Please! Tsunade-shishou is there inside right!?"

"But I can't possibly just let you in without a permission letter from the Hokage, and--"

"Please!" she cried, looking at his eyes pleading. "Sakura-san" she lunged at him only to bury her face on his chest, it made Kotetsu's cheeks redder than it is suppose to be. "Please" she whispered, unknowingly to the man she had managed to slipped something on her index finger, she let her arms wrapped around his neck buried one of her nails there.

"No way--" he mumbled almost inaudibly.

"Yes way" she interrupted as she let go of him and gently pulled him inside the guardhouse. "Sorry-" she somehow manage to say and went down to get something on Kotetsu's pocket, it was loads of keys but she luckily had knowledge which one to use.

She made some seal skillfully and inserts the key unto the gate. Luckily there was not much guard around here outside since there was a festival; a lot of ninja's were out on day offs.

There was a loud resounding tremble and the large door opened vertically making it more like a bridge than a door.

She ran hurriedly towards the inside of the said ward, passing through hallways stealthily. Finally she came across a room with its door sight open, a hundred of seals surrounding it but she noticed it was all deactivated.

Before she could enter the room and have a glimpse of what is inside. A rain nin came out followed by some other 5 rain nin too behind them was a man who looked like a pissed high rank rain shinobi, maybe a representative she guess.

Sakura took a side step while gazing at their annoyed faces to make them pass and went inside. What she saw made her frozen on her spot.

"Sakura?" Tsunade interrupted her train of thoughts; she looked at the bitter young lady in front of her and understood it completely without asking her any further.

"Those stupid rain nins came even though they know there was a festival here. I know you had been worried but you shouldn't have left the ceremony that quickly the elders would be furious you know that."

Tsunade sighed knowing Sakura would care less on what she's saying but nonetheless continued.

"They are probably not the only country that is in favor of killing Sasuke as punishment but those people were just threatened if an Uchiha is about to survive, you know, more powerful ninja for Konoha." Just then Sakura decided to move further inside the room. It was streaked with the smell of blood and sweat.

"They found an almost perfect excuse to lessen Konoha's man power, but still the decision is ours. He might had left Konoha but he had never killed anyone from the other villages. Perhaps they could reason out his aggressive behavior of attacking some ninjas from other villages but that's it. A death penalty wouldn't seem to fit." She drank the sake on her hands and gulped loudly.

"Geez— I guess they'll be more irritated to Konoha than they already are." She hiccup and drink yet again.

"There you are! I knew you'd be here!" Kotetsu came running inside the room but Tsunade raised her hand to stop him. "Sakura! Although its your day off I'm assigning you on a new mission." Tsunade smirked, and hiccup once again. "Nurse Sasuke back to health, though he's still not allowed outside Konoha understood."

The slight tremble of Sakura's body was enough for Tsunade to know that Sakura indeed heard what she say although the girl was still frozen on her spot.

Tsunade motions Kotetsu to released the seal that divided the room into two, the blue lightning like rail had turned nothing into a puff of smoke.

"Let's go Kotetsu" with that said the two left the room.

"Sasuke" Sakura said in a sob. There at the wall was a paint of Sasuke's almost dried blood, he does look like he was beaten pretty badly, and his hands were no longer tied but the chains on his wrist kept an ugly mark.

He was very injured. He was barefoot, wearing only his black long pants that after the torture, looked sickly brown, stained with dried blood. His chest was covered with bruises and cuts.

He was sitting at the floor his head bowed lowly and his feet sprawled carelessly. The floor around his feet was speckled with blood droplets that was most likely came from his injured wrists by being tied to the wall by chains for so long. His feet weren't in better shape either. His ankles were badly swollen and hurt and his wrist were looking somewhat like his ankles. But it seems that he was too tired and it would hurt too much to raise his eyes to even look at it.

She knew he was in so much pain. She had seen him hurt before, but those times she knew he was hurt while fighting back. However this time she knew he could've easily escapes and never dealt with such punishment but didn't.

What was holding him back? She would like to ask him herself but is too occupied to what she was seeing. Does he want to die now? Why did he sacrifice himself by going back to Konoha just to carry her body after their battle with Naruto?

Sasuke's eyes moved slightly, and she finally caught a glimpse of his face, it had a long gash that went from near his left eye, down his cheek.

Sakura caressed his face lovingly, a small smile on her lips. Slowly, his eyes opened and looked directly into hers. He smiled, even a little. Funny how she would be able to see him smiles while on this state.

"Hey…" he said lowly. And she answered him by hugging him careful not to aggravate his wounds.

"W-why?" she asked him with a sob. He coughed, and some blood fell on his hand and some to Sakura's dress. She pulled something from her kimono and found a handkerchief.

She gently pats the excess blood from his face just so it would lessen the hurt she was feeling. Some dried blood couldn't be removed and the poor piece of cloth was too covered with his blood already. A tear escaped her green eyes and had started to heal his wounds.

He didn't complain or pushed her away. He stayed there letting her heal his tattered body. For a moment Sakura felt something on her left cheek, she smiled weakly as his fingers tucked the unruly pink hair that was untied some time ago when she was furiously running.

"Sakura" he said in almost a whisper. "I'm sorry."

* * *

_There were broken pieces of glass. _

_He looks at the mirror and he sees **him **instead. _

_Hitting it hard to causes thousand images of that man to stare back at him. _

_Someday I'll be like my brother!_

_There were tears falling . . ._

_You look so much like your brother now ne? _

_Are these tears?_

Do you--?

_It taste bitter._

--love your brother so much?

_It feels so unfamiliar._

--To make you hate him this much.

_"Sasuke-kun."_

_"I thought you were asleep?"_

_"—You're bleeding, let me--"_

_"Just go, Sakura"_

_"But at least let me--"_

_"Just go! Damn it!" Sasuke cried punching the wall with his already bleeding hand, and she clearly understands it. She turns around and left him bleeding on that room, as she lay motionless on the bed. _

_Later she heard him crawling beside her, but she didn't turn to look at him, as he appears to be counting the cracks on the ceiling._

_The rain was pouring hard onto the rooftop. It was loud, lulling both of them to sleep._

_He glances over her small figure perfectly fitted on the suppose to be empty space of his bed and with her long pink hair cascading onto the white pillows._

_"I— I overheard your conversation with Tsunade-sama this morning."_

_"You're leaving?"_

_"Aa"_

_"It's raining."_

_"Aa"_

_"Bring an umbrella"_

_"Aa"_

_"H-how long--?"_

_"I don't know…"_

_"-How long – would you hold my hand?"_

_He paused and realized he'd been clutching her hands so tightly. He gave her hand a squeeze and closes his eyes._

_". . .forever. . ."_

But on that same night he had let go of her hand. . .

Expecting her to grab it back, but she didn't. Maybe he wasn't expecting it, but hoping that she will because . . . if she ever did hold his hand so tightly, he may not want to leave, because he never did want to anyway.

For it was different this time, different from confessing her love just to stop him from going to Orochimaru, it was different from Naruto's rasengan. It was different, too different with the touch of her hand.

"Just promise me one thing Sasuke-kun, go back to your home."

_Isn't this your home?_

" . . . Wherever could it be." He narrowed his eyes, his lips turning into a fine line.

"Because I know that even you stay, you'll still be far away so I . . . I won't hold you back this time."

_**'But I . . . want you to.'** But those words didn't reach her anymore, only with the lingering warmth of his hand did._

_Yes, it certainly did reach her until now._

_There were broken pieces of glass._

_Do you--?_

The rain was pouring hard.

_--love your brother so much?_

_There were tears falling._

His tears were falling.

* * *

**(…Present time…)**

"Postpartum depression?" he nimbly inquired again. Ino was setting her hair into a ponytail and then rummaged over the folders of files inside the gray drawer.

"Found it!" she exclaimed holding a folder in her hands and went on to seat on the opposite side of Sasuke. They were at the small room at the infirmary wherein ninja's have their regular check-ups.

"You see normally after childbirth, the mother would go have some mixture of different feelings, emotions and also physical changes." Sasuke nodded implying that he was listening.

"Well—most of the times they called it 'baby blues' but then it may last only a few hours or as long as 1 to 2 weeks after delivery. The baby blues do not always require treatment from a health care provider." She continued her well-polished nails pointing on something at the paper she was holding.

"A woman with postpartum depression can have feelings similar to the baby blues - sadness, despair, anxiety, irritability - but she feels them much more strongly than she would with the baby blues. If a woman does not get treatment for it, symptoms can get worse and last longer. While it is a serious condition, it can be treated with medication and counseling. I tried helping her, doing some simple stuffs for her" Ino said knowingly.

"I was never as good as Sakura when it comes to the medical field but somehow even how she was regarded as one of the top medic-nins she couldn't somehow take good care of herself."

"Uhn" was his only reply running his fingers into his hair. "So—mostly what causes it?"

"Actually no one knows for sure what causes it, but they do think that it was because of rapid change in hormones." Sasuke narrowed his eyes intently, trying to get all the facts inside his head.

"Ergh—still want me to continue?" he nodded and she let out a sigh. "I was never really good at this but, Sakura is my friend so I had put much interest on these things" she shook her head when Sasuke said nothing in return.

"Well you're up to some human anatomy lessons!" she giggled and tried to continue, not really wanting to put the man in front of him mad.

"During pregnancy, the amount of two female hormones, estrogen and progesterone, in a woman's body increase greatly. In the first 24 hours after childbirth, the amount of these hormones rapidly drops and keeps dropping to the amount they were before the woman became pregnant." She paused, her index finger on her chin.

"On Sakura's case, it was her first child, plus she had a history of depression before and during pregnancy, and that didn't take the fact that she got pregnant in such a young age of 16." She nervously eyed Sasuke at his motion. He was clenching then unclenching his fist making Ino nervous.

"Go on—sorry about that" he tried to pacify the nervousness he was causing from the girl. "O—kay. Well basically it was the cause why Sakura somehow feel less enthusiastic to take care of her child, Aiko." She cleared her throat and continued.

"There are some simple things she could do to help herself from it." She handed him one of the papers inside the folder she's been holding, and pointed into some part.

"There—read on, you could also keep it if you want just so you remember what to do to help her without consulting a professional which she really didn't want, maybe pride for she was also a doctor herself."

He tried to ignore the last part of her comment and read on the page and goes something like:

One is to get good, old-fashioned rest.

Second, stop putting pressure on yourself to do everything ask for help.

Third, talk to someone, a husband, friend, family.

Fourth, don't spend too much time alone.

Fifth spend more time with your husband

Sixth, talk with other mothers, who might share the same situation.

The list goes on but Ino interrupted him by saying "Unfortunately Sakura had done barely of those! And I'm sure she knows she has postpartum depression and is fully aware how to relinquish it, but hell she doesn't do anything at all. Well I can't really blame her, as you can see she was lacking one of the most important part--."

She stopped mid her sentence and look at the now red orbs of eyes. A little startled she continues. "Having a partner—a husband could really help. But I'm not pushing you to be on that role. I mean even we did fight long ago because of you I would be really grateful if you do help her out because I'm quite sure you are the right person to stand beside her."

There was a silence and his eyes turn back to its black form. "It couldn't be just anybody. I tried helping her raise her child but there is nothing compared to a husband, Kakashi even tried. To tell you honestly I think he was doing a good job, he had really taken good care of Sakura and her child, even do some household chores!"

"Aa." He blinked a long one.

"But it has to be that person she really love the most. No one could compare to that." She said standing from her position.

"I know." He answered, also standing from his position "Thanks by the way." He said before leaving the room.

'_But am I really?'_ he couldn't help but asked himself that question. _'Am I that person still?'_

* * *

The night sky was painted in a deeper hue this time. And fat cold raindrops tapped on the garbage bins outside the house. Sakura was holding her umbrella with her right hand as she throw the plastic of trash on the metal bin.

"Oka-san" a little voice called. Sakura was a bit surprised but turn around to see her daughter who was soaking wet in the rain.

"Aiko! Haven't I told you to bring your umbrella always?" Aiko just watched her mother as she approached her and held out her hand. They went inside their small house and pulled Aiko towards the bathroom.

"'ka-san! We have to go to somewhere else." She flailed her arms trying to shoo her mother away. "Don't be silly Aiko, you're going nowhere with mud all over yourself, you need to clean up." With that said Sakura open the faucet and open the heater letting her daughter to a warm bath.

"Why you caring this much? You never fuss about simple things such as this." She sighed and didn't answer her child. Sakura pulled a towel and let Aiko dry herself up.

"Where are you going Aiko? You're still wet I'll go and get your dress." But Aiko had already gone upstairs. Sakura found her daughter dressed up on a normal pink tee that she wears usually which was a little baggy for her.

"Where's our travel bag?" Aiko asked earning a suspicious glare from Sakura. "Why? Its on the left cabinet." The little girl then went to where her mother pointed and drop some of her clothes and her mother's too inside the black travel bag.

"What are you going to do with that Aiko?" she said a little annoyed with the strange action. "We're going somewhere." She stated."

"And why is that? What if I don't want to?"

"Please mom." She pleaded her round emerald eyes trying to persuade her mother. "No" Sakura answered crossing her arms.

"Fine! If you don't want to come then I'll go alone." She paused and carries the bag. "I wont be coming home alright?"

"What the—don't be so hardheaded what are you up to anyway?" Sakura grabbed a fistful of her hair and tries to massage her head, feeling a little frustrated.

"Then come with me 'ka-san" Aiko run downstairs leaving Sakura a little dazzled. "Fine I'll go!" she finally gave up. "Just wait for me I'll go get an umbrella." She said a irritated,

Aiko hidden a smile, her mother was so easy to persuade, and was really having this obsession in bringing umbrellas wherever they go. It didn't take long and Sakura came down and open her umbrella, she handed another one to Aiko and they started walking.

"Why are you having tantrums tonight? It gives me a heavy headache you know?" her daughter giggled and ran ahead of her mother. They were walking for almost 20 minutes already and Sakura find herself on a somewhat familiar place at what seems like the other side of Konoha.

"Off course how could she forget? There were no people on the streets and the houses seem empty but one house had its light on.

"Aiko why are we here at the Uchiha compound? Did that Sasu--" she stopped as she notice her daughter had already went at the doorstep of the large ancestral looking house which was the only one who had some lights on.

The door opened and it seems that Aiko had already come inside, she sighed not knowing what to expect but came nonetheless. She was met with deep onyx eyes as she went in front the doorstep.

"Come on inside." He ushered her to come in, his onyx eyes penetrating her. Sasuke was looking a little more laidback with his white robe and long black pants.

"Why do I have to go inside?" she stubbornly said raising an eyebrow. "Because you're staying here--"

"And what makes you think we'll be staying her for tonight!?" she interrupted his sentence.

"I didn't say tonight. You're staying here from now on." He stated with his commanding voice. She gripped her umbrella tightly and bit down her lower lip.

"I do not want to" she replied. "Your daughter seems to like it here. I had prepared dinner also" He reasoned.

"Really Sasuke that is sooo nice of you, but pardon us we'll be leaving. Tomorrow is the inauguration of the new hokage" She said sarcastically.

"Why don't we discuss this inside?" he asked calmly. "Its raining pretty hard here outside." He whispered unto her left ear as he went a step closer to her.

She felt a tingling sensation on her spine as he did so. "You know we have to get back ho--" she stopped as she felt his hand grasp the hand she was using to hold her umbrella.

"Its raining hard let's discuss it inside." He repeated coolly. "You know I do hate the rain." He said in almost a whisper. The warmness of his breath onto her skin felt nice.

She sighed and stares back at him.

"I hate it too--" she replied.

* * *

**A.N.: Alrighty--- its been so long snce I updated ne? been busy in school. But I do hope you like the chapter.**

**It's more of a flashback chapter, well not until the latter part.**

**BTW, the mini intro there was a made up conclusion I made long before, on how they would retrieve Sasuke, but seeing the latest manga seems to proved me wrong hehe, anyways it is a FANFIC afterall ne? **

**The festival thing was made up, although I think there was really this story about a goddess that came across the sky but I'm not pretty sure about it. I'm too lazy and tired to do some research. **

**Anyhow the postpartum part was part of my undying hatred towards my Human Anatomy class, it was really killing all of us. Ergh—so might as well use what I have learned.**

**And yeah by the way. Thanks for those people who emailed me about the repeated upload of chapter 10. I had a problem seeing it online, I wasn't able to see it and so is my other friend so I keep on deleting it then upload it once again. **

**I'm sorry if you might think I' playing with you guys.**

**ALSO. If you do read my stories, and had probably come this far, PLEASE do leave a review or EMAIL me for some comments. I would really appreciate it. The thing is, I get to see a number of views and some people emailed me to update but I haven't really heard anything from them about the story.**

**So please be kind enough and leave a comment, an email or a review would be fine.**

**(NOTE: this chapter had been re-uploaded by request due to some problems.)**


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